Subject: Appearance » Clothing (Page 4)

You might be a redneck if… you've ever worn a tube-top to a funeral home.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Clothing People Rednecks

The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Clothing Husbands Marriage

I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion rules, including: both of your socks should always be the same color, or they should at least both be fairly dark.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance Clothing Men People

T-shirts that get you out of jury duty will not get you through air port security.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Appearance Clothing

The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.

Clothing Military Murphy’s Laws

Wear the right costume and the part plays itself.

Appearance Clothing Murphy’s Laws

Tube Dress: A dress which is an extended boob tube.

Clothing Definitions

When packing for a vacation, take half as much clothing and twice as much money.

Clothing Money Murphy’s Laws

Never darken my Dior again!

(1894 – 1989) Canadian actress
Appearance Clothing Situations

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Clothing Science/Weather

I was in Kashmir last weekend… went to visit one of my sweaters.

(1947 — ) American actor, writer, comedian & director
Clothing Places

It's interesting to speculate how it developed that in two of the most anti-feminist institutions, the church and the law court, the men are wearing the dresses.

(1916 – 2000) American lawyer & activist
Appearance Clothing Law Religion Women

There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid.

(1957 – ) American actor, comedian, writer & director
Appearance Clothing Sex

You might be a redneck if… you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Clothing People Rednecks

Kilt: A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
America Clothing Definitions Places

The only person who ever left the Iron Curtain wearing it.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Clothing Insults

Not a gentleman… dresses too well.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Appearance Clothing Insults

Arabs wear turbines on their heads.

Clothing Malaprops

Sex is a bad thing because it rumples the clothes.

(1929 – 1994) U.S. first lady, wife of John Fitzgerald Kennedy & book editor
Appearance Clothing Sex

The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.

novelist, screenwriter & businessman
Clothing Golf Sports

Who picks your clothes – Stevie Wonder?

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Clothing Insults