Subject: Appearance » Clothing (Page 4)

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it’s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance Clothing Golf People Religion Sports

I went to look for a used car and found my wife's dress in the back seat.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Autos Clothing Sex Wives

I had a girlfriend that was so fat she had a dress with a sign on the back saying… Caution Wide Load.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Clothing Fat Girlfriends People

When you wear new shoes for the first time, everyone will step on them.

Appearance Clothing Murphy’s Laws

The older you get, the higher your underwear – get like rings on a tree; you're 80-90 years old – your breasts are inside them.

stand-up comedian, actor, writer & producer
Age Appearance Body Clothing Old

Have you ever taken something out of the clothes hamper because it had become, relatively, the cleanest thing?

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
Appearance Clothing Housework

Liz: Why are you wearing a tux?

Jack: It’s after 6 o’clock Lemon. What am I, a farmer?

(1958 – ) American actor & producer
Appearance Clothing TV/Movie Quotes

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Appearance Clothing

Wear the right costume and the part plays itself.

Appearance Clothing Murphy’s Laws

The weirder you’re going to behave, the more normal you should look.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Appearance Clothing

Women dress alike all over the world: they dress to be annoying to other women.

(1890 – 1973) Italian-French designer
Appearance Clothing People Women

Azinger is wearing an all black outfit: black jumper, blue trousers, white shoes and a pink tea-cosy hat.

British sports announcer
Appearance Clothing Golf Misspokements Sports

White pants should be worn on two occasions: One, never, and two, if you’re selling ice cream.

(1959 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & television host
Appearance Clothing

I washed my edible underwear and now they're gone.


Appearance Clothing

You might be a redneck if… you've ever worn a tube-top to a funeral home.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Clothing People Rednecks

Sometimes I fall asleep at night with my clothes on; I’m going to have all my clothes made out of blankets.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Clothing Situations Sleep

You might be a redneck if… you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Clothing People Rednecks

Never in the history of fashion has so little material been raised so high to reveal so much that needs to be covered so badly.

(1904 – 1980) English photographer, interior, stage & costume designer
Appearance Clothing

Fishing is a delusion entirely surrounded by liars in old clothes.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Activities Beliefs Characteristics Clothing Lies Sports

David Cameron says he’ll put a cap on immigrants coming into the UK… that’s wrong… immigrants should be allowed to wear what they like.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Clothing

Women’s styles may change, but their designs remain the same.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Appearance Clothing People Women