Subject: Appearance » Clothing (Page 5)

No matter… the dead bird does not leave the nest.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Appearance Clothing Situations

I went to look for a used car and found my wife's dress in the back seat.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Autos Clothing Sex Wives

Never wear anything that panics the cat.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Animals Appearance Cats Clothing

When you've seen a nude infant doing a backward somersault you know why clothing exists.

(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director
Age Appearance Clothing Young

This shirt is “dry-clean only”… which means it’s dirty.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Clothing

I got a run in my neon stockings.

Clothing Malaprops

I always take my wife morning tea in my pajamas, but is she grateful?… no, she says she'd rather have it in a cup.

(1926 – 1984) English comedian
Characteristics Clothing

I’ve got a shirt for every day of the week… it’s blue.

American humorist & public speaker
Appearance Clothing

You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
Appearance Clothing Insults

Not really a great outfit for work. Unless something opens up in the Hookers & Whores department.

(1985 – ) American actress
Appearance Clothing TV/Movie Quotes

A lady is one who never shows her underwear… unintentionally.

(1893 – 1991) novelist, biographer & playwright
Appearance Characteristics Clothing

I met this cowboy with a brown paper hat, paper waistcoat and paper trousers… he was wanted for rustling.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Appearance Clothing Situations

Sometimes I fall asleep at night with my clothes on; I’m going to have all my clothes made out of blankets.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Clothing Situations Sleep

Fishing is a delusion entirely surrounded by liars in old clothes.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Activities Beliefs Characteristics Clothing Lies Sports

If it says “one size fits all,” it doesn’t fit anyone.

Clothing Murphy’s Laws

You know the message you’re sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You’re telling the world, ‘I give up.’

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Appearance Clothing TV/Movie Quotes

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Appearance Clothing Science/Weather

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Appearance Clothing

Strapless Gown: A compromise between the law of decency and the law of gravity.

Clothing Definitions

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
Appearance Clothing Education People

The only person who ever left the Iron Curtain wearing it.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Clothing Insults