Subject: Appearance » Clothing (Page 5)

The maitre d’hotel of a smart hotel: I am sorry, sir, but you have no necktie.
Groucho: That’s all right, don’t be sorry. I remember the time I had no pants.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Appearance Clothing

Living up to ideals is like doing everyday work with your Sunday clothes on.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Appearance Clothing Life Work

When I see a man of shallow understanding extravagantly clothed, I feel sorry – for the clothes.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Clothing Insults Intelligence

There is nothing so unbecoming on the beach as a wet kilt.

Appearance Clothing

Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Activities Clothing Sex Things Women

Jeans: Lower half of the international uniform of youth.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

Bikini: Baiting Suit.

Clothing Definitions

Chanel No. 5

(1926 – 1962) actress, sex symbol
Appearance Clothing

There were many times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Appearance Clothing Money Poverty

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Appearance Clothing Ugly

After I told my wife that black underwear turned me on, she didn't wash [mine] for a month.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Appearance Clothing

If it says “one size fits all,” it doesn’t fit anyone.

Clothing Murphy’s Laws

A lady is one who never shows her underwear unintentionally.


Appearance Clothing

Hockey is a sport for white men; basketball is a sport for black men; golf is a sport for white men dressed like pimps.

professional golfer
Appearance Clothing Golf Sports

I like what mechanics wear… overall.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Clothing Communication Language

If you don’t want gays in the military, make the uniforms ugly.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Clothing Government Military

Never in the history of fashion has so little material been raised so high to reveal so much that needs to be covered so badly.

(1904 – 1980) English photographer, interior, stage & costume designer
Appearance Clothing

The sloppier the rebel uniform, the more likely the overthrow of the existing government.

Appearance Clothing Conflict Murphy’s Laws

Very few blacks will take up golf until the requirement for plaid pants is dropped.

(1949 – ) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Clothing Golf Sports

If the shoe fits, it's too expensive.

writer, humorist, columnist & speaker
Appearance Clothing Money

I think vests are all about protection; like a life vest protects you from drowning and bulletproof vests protect you from getting shot and the sweater vest protects you from pretty girls.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Appearance Clothing