Subject: Appearance » Clothing (Page 7)

When you've seen a nude infant doing a backward somersault you know why clothing exists.

(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director
Age Appearance Clothing Young

Fashion: A make-work program to get women to buy new clothes for no real reason before the old clothes wear out.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

You know you're getting old when you start to dress in more than six colors.

(1936 – 2014) American standup comedian, actor & author
Age Appearance Clothing Old

I got some new underwear the other day… well, new to me.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Appearance Clothing

I was in Kashmir last weekend… went to visit one of my sweaters.

(1947 — ) American actor, writer, comedian & director
Clothing Places

When you wear new shoes for the first time, everyone will step on them.

Appearance Clothing Murphy’s Laws

Brassiere: A bust stop.

Clothing Definitions

You know you're getting old when kids start to dress like you used to.

(1936 – 2014) American standup comedian, actor & author
Age Appearance Clothing Old

Women dress alike all over the world: they dress to be annoying to other women.

(1890 – 1973) Italian-French designer
Appearance Clothing People Women

I think the reason guys like women in leather outfits so much is because they have that ‘new car’ smell.

Appearance Clothing People Women

If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.

Clothing Murphy’s Laws Ugly

Very few blacks will take up golf until the requirement for plaid pants is dropped.

(1949 – ) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Clothing Golf Sports

Armor: The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Clothing Communication Definitions Language

My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up; so which one's the real hero?

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Clothing

Maternity sweater, $52. Comes in unisex sizes.

Classifieds Clothing

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it’s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance Clothing Golf People Religion Sports

A skirt is no obstacle to extemporaneous sex, but it is physically impossible to make love to a girl while she is wearing trousers.

(1907 – 1982) American journalist, editor & author
Appearance Clothing Sex

The maitre d’hotel of a smart hotel: I am sorry, sir, but you have no necktie.
Groucho: That’s all right, don’t be sorry. I remember the time I had no pants.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Appearance Clothing

That top has paid off in free drinks 10 times what I originally paid for it.

(1985 – ) American actress
Clothing TV/Movie Quotes

Girdle: The difference between fact and figure.

Appearance Body Clothing Definitions

You might be a redneck if… you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Clothing People Rednecks