Subject: Appearance » Clothing (Page 9)

After I told my wife that black underwear turned me on, she didn't wash [mine] for a month.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Appearance Clothing

My mother was the worst cook ever; in school, when we traded lunches, I had to throw in an article of clothing.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Clothing Cooking Family Food/Drink Mothers

I went to look for a used car and found my wife's dress in the back seat.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Autos Clothing Sex Wives

Probably the worst thing you can hear when you’re wearing a bikini is “Good for you!”


Appearance Body Clothing

A four-hundred-dollar suit on him would look like socks on a rooster.

(1895 – 1960) American politician
Appearance Clothing Insults

Sarong: A simple garment carrying the implicit promise that it will not long stay in place.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

A skirt is no obstacle to extemporaneous sex, but it is physically impossible to make love to a girl while she is wearing trousers.

(1907 – 1982) American journalist, editor & author
Appearance Clothing Sex

A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.

Clothing Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

If that dress had pockets, you’d look like a pool table.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Clothing TV/Movie Quotes

The only reason she made it to the top was because her clothes didn't.

Appearance Body Clothing Success

Armor: A knight gown.

Clothing Definitions

Armor: The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Clothing Communication Definitions Language

An income tax form is like a laundry list – either way you lose your shirt.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Clothing Government Taxes

Fashion is something that goes in one year and out the other.


Appearance Clothing

But he was the worst dresser in organized baseball; he made Inspector Clouseau look like a candidate for Mr. Blackwell's list of best-dressed men.

American baseball pitcher
Appearance Basketball Clothing Sports

Women’s styles may change, but their designs remain the same.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Appearance Clothing People Women

[Suzanne modeling a fur pull-over] Protestor: 50 animals died because of that coat!

Suzanne: Wanna make it 51?

(1956 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & author
Clothing TV/Movie Quotes

Nothing wise was ever printed upon an apron.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Appearance Clothing Intelligence Wisdom

Fashion: A make-work program to get women to buy new clothes for no real reason before the old clothes wear out.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

Liz: Why are you wearing a tux?

Jack: It’s after 6 o’clock Lemon. What am I, a farmer?

(1958 – ) American actor & producer
Appearance Clothing TV/Movie Quotes

If I saw myself dressed like that, I'd have to kick my own ass.

(1966 – ) American actor, comedian, screenwriter & film producer
Appearance Clothing