Subject: Appearance » Fat

He is so fat… when he ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Square meals often make round people.

American entrepreneur & author
Appearance Body Cooking Fat Food/Drink

I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Fat Golf Sports

All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, ‘See, there’s a fat guy doing okay. Bring me another beer.’

American baseball player
Appearance Baseball Fat Sports

He's so fat, he can be his own running mate.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Appearance Body Fat Insults

She is so fat… the police told her to break it up.

Appearance Exaggerations Fat

As a matter of fact, I'm glad my skin is dark, because if I was a white girl, I would look 10 pounds heavier.

(1971 – ) American comedian & actress
Appearance Body Fat

Tact is the art of telling someone to lose thirty pounds without ever using the word “fat.”

Characteristics Fat Murphy’s Laws

He's so fat his bathtub has stretch marks.

(1941 – ) American basketball executive
Appearance Body Fat Insults

A big girl once came up to me after a show and said ‘I think you’re fatist.’ I said ‘No. I think you’re fattest.’

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Appearance Fat

I don’t want to lose weight; my tongue and my taste buds are the only friends I got.

American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body Fat Friends People Young

I’ve put on some weight recently; my wife says it’s just puppy fat, but I’ve been eating other things as well.

comedian
Appearance Fat

She is so fat… when you tell her to haul ass, she gotta make two trips.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

She has a four-pocket backend.

Appearance Expressions Fat

She is so fat… at the zoo, the elephants throw peanuts at her.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

I don't know if you've ever lived with a pregnant woman before, but the whole time she's pregnant, she's walking around the house like, 'Oh my God, I gained 45 extra pounds, I sweat when I eat, and I vomit every morning,' and I'm like, 'No kidding…

stand-up comedian
Appearance Body Fat Situations

A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.

(1953 – ) comedian, political commentator and television & radio personality
Appearance Body Fat Government Law

I burned 60 calories… that should take care of the peanut I ate in 1962.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Activities Body Exercise Fat

I had a girlfriend that was so fat she had a dress with a sign on the back saying… Caution Wide Load.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Clothing Fat Girlfriends People

I recently had my annual physical examination, which I get once every seven years, and when the nurse weighed me, I was shocked to discover how much stronger the Earth's gravitational pull has become since 1990.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance Body Fat Health

I am not overweight; I fluctuate between chubby and curvy!

(1979 – ) American actress, comedian & writer
Appearance Body Fat