Subject: Appearance » Fat

She is so fat… she laid on the beach and people tried to push her back into the ocean.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

I have a doctor's appointment on Monday; I'm not even sick – it's just that I've been working out, and I want someone to see me naked.

American comedian
Appearance Body Fat

When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight; when a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Appearance Body Fat Men People Women

She is so fat… when you tell her to haul ass, she gotta make two trips.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.

(1953 – ) comedian, political commentator and television & radio personality
Appearance Body Fat Government Law

She's so fat… when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

She’s so fat, she’s my two best friends.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Fat

It is my theory you can't get rid of fat… all you can do is move it around, like furniture.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Appearance Body Fat

You know you’re getting fat when your socks don’t fit.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor
Appearance Fat

I’ve got a slight weight problem… I went to this doctor. Well, he told me I swallow a lot of aggression… along with a lot of pizzas!

(1950 – 1994) Canadian actor & comedian
Appearance Fat TV/Movie Quotes

Little things start to change in your life — like your socks start to get tight.

(1953 – ) American comedian & actor
Appearance Body Fat

I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist
Fat Government Politics

He is so fat… I had to take a train and two buses just to get on his good side.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

You know you're getting fat when you go to unbutton the top of your pants – and you already did it.

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor, director & author
Appearance Body Clothing Fat

I hate thin people; “Oh, does the tampon make me look fat?”

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Fat

If someone told him to haul ass he'd have to make six trips.

Appearance Body Expressions Fat

Seamstress: 250 pounds in a size 6.

Appearance Definitions Fat

Edible underwear?… even during sex, we can't stop eating.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Eating Fat Food/Drink Sex

An ounce of sequins can be worth a pound of home cooking.

(1946 – ) American magazine columnist, author, lecturer & playwright
Appearance Body Clothing Fat

Outside every fat man there is an even fatter man trying to close in.

(1922 – 1995) English novelist & poet
Appearance Body Fat

All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, ‘See, there’s a fat guy doing okay. Bring me another beer.’

American baseball player
Appearance Baseball Fat Sports