Subject: Appearance » Fat (Page 5)

Square meals often make round people.

American entrepreneur & author
Appearance Body Cooking Fat Food/Drink

I’m so fat and I’m so depressed; last night I tried to hang myself – but the rope broke.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Fat

Is she fat? … Her favorite food is seconds.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Eating Fat Food/Drink Insults

When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight; when a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Appearance Body Fat Men People Women

You know you’re getting fat when your socks don’t fit.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor
Appearance Fat

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Appearance Body Fat People Women

Muscles come and go; flab lasts.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Appearance Body Fat

I had a girlfriend that was so fat she had her own postal code.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Fat Girlfriends People Women

No matter what I do, I cannot lose this 18 pounds… I mean I have tried everything short of diet and exercise.

American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body Exercise Fat

A quarter-ounce of chocolate = four pounds of fat.

Body Fat Murphy’s Laws

I ain’t afraid to die fat… that’s my pallbearers’ worry.


Appearance Death Fat

Is that your wife? … Oh, well, keep your chin up.

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor
Fat Insults

She is so fat… when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

He is so fat… in the summer he can sell shade.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

He is so fat… his high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

He is so fat… he had his own area code.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Fat is lost last where it is wanted the least. Corollary 1: Fat is lost first from areas of high desirability.
Corollary 2: With time fat flows from areas of high to low desirability. – Hal Belknap, M.D.

Appearance Body Fat Murphy’s Laws

He is so fat… he has group insurance.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

You know your girlfriend is getting fat when she can fit into your wife's clothes.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body Fat Marriage

Had double chins all the way down to his stomach.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Appearance Body Fat Insults

Cockroaches and socialites are the only things that can stay up all night and eat anything.

(1916 – 1997) newspaper journalist
Appearance Body Fat