Subject: Appearance (Page 13)

Do you ever wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and think, something’s not accurate?

(1967 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Self

Had double chins all the way down to his stomach.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Appearance Body Fat Insults

Claire: Your hair looks good, the curls work. Why don’t you get a perm?
Rose Morgan: I tried that once, I looked like Shirley Temple on crack.

(1942 – ) American singer-songwriter, actress, writer, film producer & director
Appearance Hair TV/Movie Quotes

If she wasn’t so skinny, she’d be considered thin.

(1897 – 1960) Russian-born American film director, actor & producer
Appearance Body

She is so fat… when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

T-shirts that get you out of jury duty will not get you through air port security.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Appearance Clothing

You might be a redneck if… your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Clothing People Rednecks

She's so skinny, she has to run around in the shower to get wet.

Appearance Body Expressions

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Appearance Clothing

Christians can have big tits, too.

(1921 – 2011) American film actress & sex symbol
Appearance Beliefs Body Religion

I suppose you know you have a wonderful body; I’d like to do it in clay.

(1925 – ) American singer & actress
Appearance Body

My face looks like a wedding cake left out in the rain.


(1907 – 1973) poet & critic
Appearance Body People Self

No matter what time of year it’s always funny when a person walks by me dressed in religious garb and I say Happy Halloween!

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Appearance

As ugly as a bulldog chewing a wasp.

Animals Appearance Dogs Expressions Ugly

I don’t consider myself bald… I’m simply taller than my hair.

American actor & comedian
Appearance

Girdle: Accessory after the fat.

Appearance Clothing Definitions Wordplay

Face Lifting By Exercise

Appearance Book Titles

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Appearance Marriage

You know you're getting fat when you go to unbutton the top of your pants – and you already did it.

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor, director & author
Appearance Body Clothing Fat

He's a trellis for varicose veins.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Appearance Body Insults

No one is as ugly as their passport photo.

Appearance Murphy’s Laws Ugly