Subject: Appearance (Page 14)

Comparing Madonna with Marilyn Monroe is like comparing Raquel Welch with the back of a bus.

George Alan O'Dowd (1961 – ) British singer-songwriter
Appearance Body People

A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.

Clothing Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

I want to get a tattoo of myself on my entire body only 2” taller.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body

His nose is so big… he could smoke a cigar in the shower.

Appearance Body Exaggerations

You would think with all the money she saves on food she could buy a dress.

(1967 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body People

David Cameron says he’ll put a cap on immigrants coming into the UK… that’s wrong… immigrants should be allowed to wear what they like.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Clothing

My mother was the worst cook ever; in school, when we traded lunches, I had to throw in an article of clothing.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Clothing Cooking Family Food/Drink Mothers

Curve: The loveliest distance between two points.

Appearance Body Definitions

Ugly as stump full of spiders.

Appearance Expressions Ugly

You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
Appearance Clothing Insults

He is so ugly… when he throws a boomerang it won’t come back.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

A woman is as old as she looks before breakfast.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Age Appearance Old People Women

Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
Appearance Ugly

My friend George is weird because he has false teeth, but he has braces on them.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body

Honey, beside me, you look like Tony Randall!

(1933 – 1967) American actress, entertainer & Hollywood sex symbol
Appearance Body Insults

Bra: Decoration draped by your wife over the shower curtain rod in the bathroom.

Clothing Definitions

Her only flair is in her nostrils.

(1919 – 2001) American film critic
Appearance Reviews/Criticism

Blonds must have more fun; how many brunettes do you see walking down the street with blond roots?

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Appearance

Love thy neighbor… and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance Body Love People

He has turned almost alarmingly blond – he's gone past platinum, he must be plutonium; his hair is coordinated with his teeth.

(1919 – 2001) American film critic
Appearance Insults

We can’t be lovers because we both have mustaches, but since you’re a lady, and I’m a gentleman, I’ll shave mine off.

(1982 – ) American author
Appearance Hair Relationships