Subject: Appearance (Page 16)

I had a Jewish delivery; they knock you out with the first pain; they wake you up when the hairdresser shows.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Family

I spent seven hours in a beauty shop… and that was for the estimate.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Body People Self

You know you're getting old when kids start to dress like you used to.

(1936 – 2014) American standup comedian, actor & author
Age Appearance Clothing Old

Thirty ways to shape up for summer — number one: eat less; number two: exercise more; number three… What was I talking about? … I’m so hungry right now.

(1970 – ) American stand-up comedian & voice actor
Appearance Body Exercise

I think it’s pretty cool how the Chinese made a language entirely out of tattoos.

Appearance Body Places

Normally, I’m not turned on by big teeth, but on you they work.

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes

Lester: If you play your cards right, you could have my body.

Halley Reed: Wouldn’t you rather leave it to science?

(1945 – ) American model, activist & actress
Body TV/Movie Quotes

The trouble with jogging is that, by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Activities Body

There's so much Botox around now that you can't tell when a Jewish girl is angry!

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Appearance

David Cameron says he’ll put a cap on immigrants coming into the UK… that’s wrong… immigrants should be allowed to wear what they like.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Clothing

Phyllis Diller’s had so many facelifts, there’s nothing left in her shoes.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Appearance Body

I'm not against half-naked girls – not as often as I'd like to be.

(1924 – 1992) English comedian & actor
Appearance Body Clothing Situations

If beauty is truth, why don’t women go to the library to have their hair done?

(1805 – 1864) English editor, novelist & sporting writer
Appearance People Truth Women

His face is sagging with tension.

English sports commentator
Appearance Misspokements Sports

My girlfriend has lovely colored eyes; I particularly like the blue one.

Appearance Body

As soon as the hospital made me put on one of those little gowns, I knew the end was in sight.


Appearance Body Clothing

I’ve put on some weight recently; my wife says it’s just puppy fat, but I’ve been eating other things as well.

comedian
Appearance Fat

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance People

You really wanna know what you look like to other people?… have a child draw you.

(1975 – ) American comedian & talk radio personality
Appearance People Self

He looks like a bag of antlers.

Appearance Body Expressions

I really don’t think I need buns of steel; I’d be happy with buns of cinnamon.

(1958 – ) comedian, actress & television host
Appearance Body