Subject: Appearance (Page 18)

He's had so many face-lifts, his face has moved to the top of his head, you have to get on a step-ladder to watch him lie!

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body Insults

Short girls who take all the tall guys.

American professional tennis player
Appearance Body Sports

You can never be too skinny or too rich.

(1915 – 1978) socialite
Appearance Body Wealth

He's grinning like a possum eating a persimmon.

Appearance Expressions

Do you ever wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and think, something’s not accurate?

(1967 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Self

When I see a man of shallow understanding extravagantly clothed, I feel sorry – for the clothes.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Clothing Insults Intelligence

One year they asked me to be poster boy – for birth control.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance People Self Situations

I think they have to take this bunch down to the slaughterhouse to get weighed.

American football coach
Appearance Football Sports

Necktie: A decorative noose worn by businessmen.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Clothing Definitions

The scrotum – a design fault, excess elbow skin put in between mens legs to keep their balls so they don't have to hold them in their hand… although it didn't work!

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Appearance Body

Why don't you come up and see me sometime, when I got nothing on but the radio?

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Clothing Dating Relationships

There is nothing so unbecoming on the beach as a wet kilt.

Appearance Clothing

There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid.

(1957 – ) American actor, comedian, writer & director
Appearance Clothing Sex

Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at bowling alleys.

American comedian
Appearance Clothing Shopping

You’re only has good as your last haircut.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Appearance

Penis: Part of the male anatomy which contains the brain.

Body Definitions Men

Figures Show It: Americans Putting On Those Pounds

Appearance Body Headlines

I’ve got a slight weight problem… I went to this doctor. Well, he told me I swallow a lot of aggression… along with a lot of pizzas!

(1950 – 1994) Canadian actor & comedian
Appearance Fat TV/Movie Quotes

I buy a dress because I need change for gum.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Activities Clothing Shopping

They say an actor is only as good as his parts; well, my parts have done me pretty well, darling.

(1937 – ) English actress
Acting Appearance Body Entertainment

You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, which doesn’t say much for you.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes