Subject: Appearance (Page 18)

He is so fat… people jump over him rather than go around.

Appearance Exaggerations Fat

He's grinning like a mule eating briars.

Appearance Emotions Expressions Happiness

Have you ever taken something out of the clothes hamper because it had become, relatively, the cleanest thing?

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
Appearance Clothing Housework

He is so fat… he's on both sides of the family.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

The problem with women in an orchestra is that if they’re attractive it will upset my players and if they’re not it will upset me.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor
Appearance Entertainment Music People Women

Behind every successful man, you’ll find a woman who has nothing to wear.

(1908 – 1997) American actor
Appearance Clothing Men People Success Women

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Body

She was so tall if she fell down she would be halfway home.

Appearance Body Expressions

When people tell you how young you look, they are also telling you how old you are

(1904 – 1986) English-American actor
Age Appearance Old

All women tennis players should go on their knees in thankfulness to Suzanne Lenglen for delivering them from the tyranny of corsets.

American professional tennis player
Appearance Clothing Sports

Chanel No. 5

(1926 – 1962) actress, sex symbol
Appearance Clothing

I always take my wife morning tea in my pajamas, but is she grateful?… no, she says she'd rather have it in a cup.

(1926 – 1984) English comedian
Characteristics Clothing

I'm not against half-naked girls – not as often as I'd like to be.

(1924 – 1992) English comedian & actor
Appearance Body Clothing Situations

Women, that butterfly [tattoo] looks great on your breast when you're twenty or thirty, but when you get to seventy, it stretches into a condor.

(1869 – 1945) American actor
Appearance Body

She is so ugly… she has to trick or treat over the phone.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

No woman can be too rich or too thin.

Duchess of Windsor (1896 – 1986) American socialite & wife of the Prince Edward, formerly King Edward VIII
Appearance People Wealth Women

The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf.

Appearance Body Golf Murphy’s Laws Sports

Every time I breathe, they like, ‘Why you breathing so hard?'…So I can live!


Appearance Fat Self

G String: Gownless evening strap.

Clothing Definitions

Bikini: Baiting Suit.

Clothing Definitions

Elizabeth Taylor looks like two small boys fighting underneath a thick blanket.

Richard Blackwell (1922 – 2008) fashion critic, journalist, & designer
Appearance Insults