Subject: Appearance (Page 19)

If it weren't for my Adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Body Self

The longer I practice medicine the more convinced I am there are only two types of cases: those that involve taking the trousers off and those that don’t.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Clothing Doctors Health

Women dress alike all over the world: they dress to be annoying to other women.

(1890 – 1973) Italian-French designer
Appearance Clothing People Women

If you don’t want gays in the military, make the uniforms ugly.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Clothing Government Military

When I was pregnant, my friends sneered: ‘Eating for two, are we?’… I said, get lost, I’m not cutting down.

(1957 – ) British stand-up comedian
Appearance Body Eating Food/Drink

I said to my husband, ‘My boobs have gone, my stomach’s gone, say something nice about my legs;’ he said, ‘Blue goes with everything.’

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Old

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Appearance Clothing Ugly

Gal reminds me of the highway between Forth Worth and Dallas – no curves.

cartoon character (Mel Blanc)
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes

If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near forty.

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
Age Appearance People Women

He must have had a magnificent build before his stomach went in for a career of its own.

(1910 – 1997) American writer
Appearance Body Fat Insults

You might be a redneck if… you think the winter Olympic sport of curling is part of the “Big Hair” competition.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Hair People Rednecks

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Communication Death Hair Time

Sweater: Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Appearance Clothing Definitions

I’ve lost seven pounds this week… or, as my girlfriend calls it, ‘the baby’.

British comedian & emcee
Appearance Body

Not Open To People Be Sloppily Dressed

Appearance Clothing Translations

You don't hit with your face.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Appearance Baseball Yogi-isms

A triumph of the embalmer's art.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Appearance Insults

[while filling out a form] Jim: Eyes…

Elaine Nardo: No, don’t put two.

Jim: Oh, they mean color, don’t they?

(1938 – ) American actor
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes

Lord, if I can't be skinny, please let all my friends be fat.

(1936 – 2005) Irish comedian
Appearance Fat

He (Jimmie Foxx) has muscles in his hair.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Appearance Body

He is so ugly… he has to sneak up on his mirror.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly