Subject: Appearance (Page 22)

He is so fat… when he joined Overeaters Anonymous and they make him a chapter.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Not really a great outfit for work. Unless something opens up in the Hookers & Whores department.

(1985 – ) American actress
Appearance Clothing TV/Movie Quotes

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Appearance Clothing

I went into a clothing store, and the lady asked me what size I was, I said, 'Actual' … I'm not to scale.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Appearance Clothing Situations

Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and started growing in the middle.

Age Appearance Body People

She has got 10 foot pole marks all over her.

Appearance Expressions Ugly

I broke my arm trying to fold a bed… it wasn’t the kind that folds.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Body Things

I was getting dressed and a peeping Tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Body Old

No one has ever had an idea in a dress suit.

(1891 – 1941) Canadian physician & physiologist
Appearance Clothing Ideas Intelligence

I didn't discover curves; I only uncovered them.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance Body

Now, it’s true I married my wife for her looks… but not the ones she's been givin’ me lately.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Body Marriage Wives

She’s like an apple turnover that got crushed in a grocery bag on a hot day.

(1947 – ) American author, teacher & social critic
Appearance Insults People

Smilin’ like a goat in a briarpatch

Appearance Expressions

He is so fat… he can't even jump to a conclusion.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Bagpipes covered in hair.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body

I am not overweight; I fluctuate between chubby and curvy!

(1979 – ) American actress, comedian & writer
Appearance Body Fat

She not only kept her lovely figure, she’s added so much to it.

(1927 – 1987) actor, dancer, choreographer, director, screenwriter & director
Appearance Body Insults

A plastic surgeon increases your face value.

Appearance

At a bargain sale, the only suit or dress that you like best and that fits you is the one not in the sale.

Activities Clothing Murphy’s Laws Shopping

I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory… an empty gin bottle.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Appearance Children Clothing Family

She’s so fat she wears stretch kaftans.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Clothing Fat