Subject: Appearance (Page 24)

He has turned almost alarmingly blond – he's gone past platinum, he must be plutonium; his hair is coordinated with his teeth.

(1919 – 2001) American film critic
Appearance Insults

Actually, it only seems as though you mustn't be deceived by appearances.

Appearance Characteristics Murphy’s Laws

Angelina Jolie has a fine pair of child-bearing lips.

Irish journalist & film critic
Appearance Reviews/Criticism

Square meals often make round people.

American entrepreneur & author
Appearance Body Cooking Fat Food/Drink

He looks like a bag of antlers.

Appearance Body Expressions

Brain: The apparatus with which we think we think.

Body Definitions

She is so ugly… when she walked in to Taco Bell, everyone ran for the border.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion rules, including: both of your socks should always be the same color, or they should at least both be fairly dark.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance Clothing Men People

If brains were all that important in a beauty contest, you could enter wearing a Hefty Bag.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Appearance Body Intelligence

She's not wearing enough clothes to flag a hand car.

Appearance Clothing Expressions

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Appearance Family Relationships

He is so ugly… when he throws a boomerang it won’t come back.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

His face looks like a closed fist.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Appearance Baseball Sports

Never darken my Dior again!

(1894 – 1989) Canadian actress
Appearance Clothing Situations

She could eat an apple through a picket fence.

Appearance Expressions

Looking fifty is great – if you're sixty.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Old

The (orange) uniforms were already picked out by the time I got here. I didn't give it too much thought until I saw our buses and I said, `My God, we're dressed just like that bus.'

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Appearance Clothing Football Sports

Lady Astor to Churchill: ‘Sir you’re drunk!’

Churchill’s reply: Yes, madam, I am drunk, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Appearance Beliefs Opinion

I just lost 10 pounds on a new diet called ‘the flu.’

(1970 – ) American actor, producer & stand up comedian
Appearance Body Health

I don’t think cops should wear mirrored sunglasses; the whole time the guy was chewing me out, all I could think was “I should cut my bangs.”

Canadian-American comedian & writer
Appearance Hair Situations

Her body has gone to her head.

(1907 – 1990) American actress
Appearance Body Insults