Subject: Appearance (Page 25)

Kilt: A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
America Clothing Definitions Places

Why doesn’t the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?


Appearance Body Fat Sports

I’d like to borrow [Cassius] Clay’s body for 48 hours. There are three guys I’d like to beat up and four women I’d like to make love to.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Appearance Body Boxing Sports

If you ever thought you were ugly, Los Angeles is the place to come and find out you were right.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Places

No woman can be too rich or too thin.

Duchess of Windsor (1896 – 1986) American socialite & wife of the Prince Edward, formerly King Edward VIII
Appearance People Wealth Women

A skirt is no obstacle to extemporaneous sex, but it is physically impossible to make love to a girl while she is wearing trousers.

(1907 – 1982) American journalist, editor & author
Appearance Clothing Sex

Girdle: Accessory after the fat.

Appearance Clothing Definitions Wordplay

Amanda: Why are you dressed like that? … Like you’re going to a funeral. Why are you dressed like somebody died?

Wednesday: Wait.

(1980 – ) American actress
Appearance Clothing TV/Movie Quotes

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance Hair People

My friend George is weird because he has false teeth, but he has braces on them.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body

All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, ‘See, there’s a fat guy doing okay. Bring me another beer.’

American baseball player
Appearance Baseball Fat Sports

I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Fat

She would be like Richard Wagner if only she looked a bit more feminine.

(1892-1969) English poet & writer
Appearance Insults

The fashion magazines are suggesting that women wear clothes that are ‘age appropriate’ … for me that would be a shroud.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Clothing

Things could always be worse; for instance, you could be ugly and work in the Post Office.

writer, humorist, columnist & speaker
Appearance Characteristics Ugly Work

1. If you like it, they don't have it in your size. 2. If you like it and its in your size, it doesn't fit anyway. 3. If you like it and it fits, you can't afford it. 4. If you like it, it fits, and you can afford it, it falls apart the first time you wash it.

Appearance Clothing Murphy’s Laws Shopping

You know your girlfriend is getting fat when she can fit into your wife's clothes.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body Fat Marriage

Love thy neighbor… and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance Body Love People

My arms register as legs. And my legs register as firewood.

(1981 – ) American Comedian
Appearance Body

She’s so fat, she’s my two best friends.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Fat

The fashion wears out more apparel than the man.

(1564 – 1616) English dramatist & poet
Appearance Clothing