Subject: Appearance (Page 25)

A study shows breast implants can cause nausea and dizziness… from all the free drinks.

(1962 – ) American actor and talk show host
Alcohol Appearance Health

He's the only man able to walk under a bed without hitting his head.

(1897 – 1972) broadcast journalist & gossip columnist
Appearance Insults

Sometimes I fall asleep at night with my clothes on; I’m going to have all my clothes made out of blankets.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Clothing Situations Sleep

The body of a young woman is God's greatest achievement; of course He could have made it to last longer, but you can't have everything.

(1927 – 2018) playwright & screenwriter
Appearance Body People Women

I was so ugly that my parents sent my picture to Ripley’s Believe It or Not: they sent it back and said, “We don’t believe it.”

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Ugly

I didn't discover curves; I only uncovered them.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance Body

She has got 10 foot pole marks all over her.

Appearance Expressions Ugly

Not Open To People Be Sloppily Dressed

Appearance Clothing Translations

If you have to release bad news to the public, it would help if you are not ugly.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Ugly

You know you’re getting fat when your socks don’t fit.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor
Appearance Fat

A bird in the hand makes blowing your nose difficult.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Animals Appearance Situations Things

I said to my girlfriend, you shouldn’t eat before you swim; she said, ‘why not? ’ I said, ‘you look fat.'

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Appearance Fat

I was dating this girl once for a few weeks, and the first time she saw my penis, she said, 'Is everything a joke with you?'

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor, director & author
Appearance Body Dating Relationships

My girlfriend looks a little like Charlize Theron… and a lot like Dog the Bounty Hunter.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor
Appearance Girlfriends People

I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Eating Food/Drink Mothers Ugly

You'll never find the answer to 'What's the right hat?'

(1941 – ) American singer
Appearance Clothing

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws… only catapults.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Appearance Body Fat Things

Love thy neighbor… and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance Body Love People

The weirder you’re going to behave, the more normal you should look.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Appearance Clothing

A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Appearance People

It’s like herpes; you either have it or you don’t.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance