Subject: Appearance (Page 27)

I suppose you know you have a wonderful body. I’d like to do it in clay.

(1925 – ) American singer & actress
Appearance Body TV/Movie Quotes

A study shows breast implants can cause nausea and dizziness… from all the free drinks.

(1962 – ) American actor and talk show host
Alcohol Appearance Health

I stopped buying women’s magazines; the only time I ever see someone who looks like me is under the word ‘Before’.

(1975 – ) English comedian
Appearance Self

Englishwomen's shoes look as if they had been made by someone who had often heard shoes described, but had never seen any.

(1910 – 1997) American writer
Appearance Clothing England Insults Places

I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Fat

Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Children Clothing Family Health

I base most of my fashion sense on whether or not it itches.

(1946 – 1989) comedian & actress
Appearance Clothing

His head is so big… he has to step into his shirts.

Appearance Body Exaggerations

She was short on intellect, but long on shape.

(1866 – 1944) American writer, newspaper columnist, playwright & humorist
Appearance Insults Intelligence

Anyone might become homosexual after seeing Glenda Jackson naked.

(1939 – 2001) British author & journalist
Appearance Body Insults

You’re as pretty as any of them… you just need a nose job.

(1949 – ) American actor, comedian & writer
Appearance Body TV/Movie Quotes

A lot of bars have black lights, and when a bar has black lights, everybody looks very cool… except for me because I was under the impression that the mustard stain came out.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Situations

A man's face is his autobiography; a woman's face is her work of fiction.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Appearance Men People Women

I’ve never read an article of clothing.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Appearance Clothing Reading/Writing

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window; you may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.

(1922 – 2003) author & playwright
Appearance Clothing Marriage Shopping

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws… only catapults.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Appearance Body Fat Things

I'm just a person trapped in a woman's body.

(1952 – ) comedian
Body People Self Women

He looks like a dwarf who’s been dipped in a bucket of pubic hair.

George Alan O'Dowd (1961 – ) British singer-songwriter
Appearance Insults

The youthful sparkle in his eyes is caused by his contact lenses, which he keeps highly polished.

(1904 – 1988) English-born American syndicated gossip columnist
Appearance Insults

You might be a redneck if… you work with a shirt off… and so does your husband.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Clothing Husbands People Rednecks

Smoking cures weight problems… eventually.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Activities Body Characteristics Death Fat