Subject: Appearance (Page 3)

If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.

Clothing Murphy’s Laws Ugly

Looks like he’s been sortin’ wildcats.

Appearance Expressions

When I see a man of shallow understanding extravagantly clothed, I feel sorry – for the clothes.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Clothing Insults Intelligence

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

Appearance Body Characteristics

He is so fat… he has group insurance.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Pamela Anderson revealed all the taste and refinement of a hooker on holiday.

(1933 – ) English actress & author
Appearance Insults

When it comes to eating, you can sometimes help yourself more by helping yourself less.

(1906 – 1989) American poet & author
Appearance Body Eating Fat Food/Drink

I kept thinking, if his face was that wrinkled, what did his balls look like?

(1937 – ) English painter, printmaker, stage designer & photographer
Appearance

I dress for women… I undress for men.

(1931 – ) American actress
Appearance Body Clothing Men Sex

The cost of the hairdo is directly related to the strength of the wind.

Appearance Hair Murphy’s Laws

Dr. Frankenstein: You know, I’m a rather brilliant surgeon. Perhaps I can help you with that hump.

Igor: What hump?

(1934 – 1982) English writer, comedian & actor
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes

The most dangerous thing about American food?… the portions.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Appearance Body Fat Food/Drink

As a matter of fact, I'm glad my skin is dark, because if I was a white girl, I would look 10 pounds heavier.

(1971 – ) American comedian & actress
Appearance Body Fat

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Communication Death Hair Time

I was born with an adult head and a tiny body… like a Peanuts character.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Appearance Body People Self

I don’t know why I should even bother to eat this. I should just apply it directly to my hips.

(1939 – ) American actress
Appearance Fat TV/Movie Quotes

If it says “one size fits all,” it doesn’t fit anyone.

Clothing Murphy’s Laws

She is so ugly… when she gets up, the sun goes down.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

Ugly as a moose chewin ice

Appearance Expressions Ugly

There were many times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Appearance Clothing Money Poverty

Tact is the art of telling someone to lose thirty pounds without ever using the word “fat.”

Characteristics Fat Murphy’s Laws