Subject: Appearance (Page 31)

Joan Rivers’s face hasn’t just had a lift, it’s taken the elevator all the way to the top floor without stopping.

(1939 – ) Australian author, critic, broadcaster, poet & memoirist
Appearance Insults

She looks better goin than comin!

Appearance Body Expressions Ugly

A woman whose face looked as if it had been made of sugar and someone had licked it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Appearance Insults

If beauty is truth, why don’t women go to the library to have their hair done?

(1805 – 1864) English editor, novelist & sporting writer
Appearance People Truth Women

It's like I disprove evolution and intelligent design at once.

(1978 – ) American comic writer
Appearance Body People Science/Weather Self

She’s so fat it takes two dogs to bark at her.

Appearance Body Expressions Fat

Naseem Hamed is naturally fit. I've seen more fat on a butcher's apron.

English boxing journalist & commentator
Appearance Body Boxing Sports

I was dating this girl once for a few weeks, and the first time she saw my penis, she said, 'Is everything a joke with you?'

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor, director & author
Appearance Body Dating Relationships

He (Jimmie Foxx) has muscles in his hair.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Appearance Body

Be true to your teeth and they won't be false to you.

(1926 – 2009) comedian, actor, radio – TV personality & host
Appearance Body Characteristics

That woman's had her face lifted so many times that whenever she raises her eyebrows she pulls up her stockings.

Appearance Body

I was not a particularly small child; I was the one who always got picked to play Bethlehem in the school nativity.

(1957 – ) British stand-up comedian
Appearance Body

Curve: The loveliest distance between two points.

Appearance Body Definitions

Gomez: Has anyone ever told you, you have the softest brown eyes?
Morticia: No. Besides, my eyes are blue.
Gomez: No wonder nobody's ever told you!

(1930 – ) American actor
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes

Short girls who take all the tall guys.

American professional tennis player
Appearance Body Sports

Nancy Reagan fell down and broke her hair.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Appearance Hair

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: ‘This looks much better on.’… On what?… On fire?

(1954 – ) American actress & comedian
Activities Clothing Shopping Situations Women

It's got lots of installation.

Appearance Clothing Malaprops

Abdomen: A bowl-shaped cavity containing the organs of indigestion.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Appearance Body Eating

I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Fat Golf Sports

She's tall enough to go duck huntin' with a rake.

Appearance Body Expressions