Subject: Appearance (Page 34)

A bird in the hand makes blowing your nose difficult.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Animals Appearance Situations Things

On the other hand… you have different fingers.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Body Communication Language

When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight; when a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Appearance Body Fat Men People Women

I hate thin people; “Oh, does the tampon make me look fat?”

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Fat

Actress Mary Anderson: Mr. Hitchcock, what do you think is my best side?
Hitchcock: My dear, you're sitting on it.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer
Appearance Insults

Makeup: What it takes to look natural.

Appearance Definitions

He was so ugly… he hurt my feelings.

(1894 – 1975) American comedian
Appearance Body Ugly

His nose is so big… he has to lift it to eat.

Appearance Body Exaggerations

Strip Teaser: One who makes a bare living.

Body Definitions Occupations

She spends her day powdering her face till she looks like a bled pig.

(1864 –1945) Anglo-Scottish socialite, author & wit
Appearance Body Insults

Comparing Madonna with Marilyn Monroe is like comparing Raquel Welch with the back of a bus.

George Alan O'Dowd (1961 – ) British singer-songwriter
Appearance Body People

She’s so big, it takes two men and a boy just to look at her.

Appearance Body Expressions Fat

Diaphragm: A muscular partition separating disorders of the chest from disorders of the bowels.

Body Definitions Health

He doesn't die his hair, he bleaches his face.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Appearance Insults

I hate the beach. I hate the sun. I’m pale and I’m redheaded. I don't tan – I stroke!

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Appearance Body TV/Movie Quotes

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.

Muppet character (Frank Oz)
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes

… an old man who dresses like a Hooter’s waitress.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Clothing Hair Insults

Any girl can be glamorous… all you have to do is stand still and look stupid.

(1913 – 2000) Austrian-American actress, mathematician & inventor
Appearance People Women

He is so fat… when he ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

It’s better to be black than gay because when you’re black you don’t have to tell your mother.

comedian, composer & lyricist
Appearance Characteristics Mothers

If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Appearance Body Fat