Subject: Appearance (Page 35)

Dirty blonde … I made myself platinum, but I was born a dirty blonde.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance Body Success

A figure with curves always offers a lot of interesting angles.

Appearance Body People Women

I saw a transvestite wearing a T-shirt that said “Guess.”

(1973 – ) American comedian
Appearance Clothing

The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.

Clothing Government Military Murphy’s Laws

The more underdeveloped the country, the more overdeveloped the women.

Appearance Body Murphy’s Laws Places Women World

I was in Kashmir last weekend… went to visit one of my sweaters.

(1947 — ) American actor, writer, comedian & director
Clothing Places

He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Appearance Insults

As soon as they get married, they all get these big old guts on them; that's not from drinking beer – that's from swallowing pride.

stand-up comedian
Alcohol Body Fat Husbands Marriage Men People

That guy has muscles in places most people don't have places.

American basketball broadcaster
Appearance Basketball Body Sports

Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses, on second thought, just let me cover your face.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Appearance Insults

When you’re gay every party is a bad sweater party.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Clothing

My girlfriend told me I had the body of a Greek god and I said you don’t know sh*t about Greek mythology.

(1976 – ) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body

If I weren’t earning $3 million a year to dunk a basketball, most people in the street would run in the other direction if they saw me coming.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Appearance Body Fear

Middle age is when your old classmates are so grey and wrinkled and bald they don't recognize you.

(1898 – 1971) American humorist
Age Appearance

She is so ugly… when she walks into a haunted house, she came out with a paycheck.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

Fat is lost last where it is wanted the least. Corollary 1: Fat is lost first from areas of high desirability.
Corollary 2: With time fat flows from areas of high to low desirability. – Hal Belknap, M.D.

Appearance Body Fat Murphy’s Laws

He is so fat… his blood type is Ragu.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

The curve is more powerful than the sword.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance Body

I got some new underwear the other day… well, new to me.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Appearance Clothing

Is that your wife? … Oh, well, keep your chin up.

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor
Fat Insults

The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.

Body Cold Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Situations