Subject: Appearance (Page 35)

Naseem Hamed is naturally fit. I've seen more fat on a butcher's apron.

English boxing journalist & commentator
Appearance Body Boxing Sports

A man's face is his autobiography; a woman's face is her work of fiction.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Appearance Men People Women

The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.

Clothing Military Murphy’s Laws

I bought a new pair of pajamas with pockets, which is great, cause now i don’t have to hold things when I sleep.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Clothing Situations Sleep Things

I’d wring your neck… if you had one.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Appearance Body Insults

Wrinkles are hereditary; parents get them from their children.

(1924 – ) American actress & singer
Appearance Children Family Parents

You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.

(1952 – ) comedian
Appearance Body Men People Women

He has become the oldest living cute boy in the world.

(1953 – ) American author, journalist & opinion columnist
Age Appearance Insults Old

Abdicate: To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Body Definitions

Sweater: Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Appearance Clothing Definitions

Women, that butterfly [tattoo] looks great on your breast when you're twenty or thirty, but when you get to seventy, it stretches into a condor.

(1869 – 1945) American actor
Appearance Body

The fashion wears out more apparel than the man.

(1564 – 1616) English dramatist & poet
Appearance Clothing

There are two times in a woman’s life when clothes are important: when she is young and when she is old.

writer
Appearance Clothing People Women

I never go out unless I look like Joan Crawford the movie star; if you want to see the girl next door, go next door.

(1905 – 1977) American actress
Appearance People Self

Liposuction: A surgical procedure from which the patient emerges significantly lighter in both pounds and dollars.

Appearance Body Definitions Health

There is a breed of fashion models who weigh no more than an abridged dictionary.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance Body

I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, 'Marry him, you'll double your wardrobe.'

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Clothing Marriage

Falsies: A hope chest.

Body Clothing Definitions

You can never be too skinny or too rich.

(1915 – 1978) socialite
Appearance Body Wealth

The (orange) uniforms were already picked out by the time I got here. I didn't give it too much thought until I saw our buses and I said, `My God, we're dressed just like that bus.'

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Appearance Clothing Football Sports

She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Appearance Insults Marriage