Subject: Appearance (Page 36)

Dirty blonde … I made myself platinum, but I was born a dirty blonde.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance Body Success

I hate thin people; “Oh, does the tampon make me look fat?”

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Fat

Nowadays, a balanced diet is when every McNugget weighs the same!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Appearance Body Fat

I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance People Self Ugly

I would give my left nut for a really nice guitar… I don't actually play the guitar, but I have three testicles.

(1981 – ) American comedian, writer & actor
Appearance Body

Dr. Frankenstein: You know, I’m a rather brilliant surgeon. Perhaps I can help you with that hump.

Igor: What hump?

(1934 – 1982) English writer, comedian & actor
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes

An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.

Appearance Murphy’s Laws Success

If I look confused it is because I am thinking.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Appearance Intelligence Misspokements Speech Thinking

Were a fly to attempt to cross it, it would break its leg.

(1902 – 1986) British biographer, historian & academic
Appearance

Blubber Island

Appearance Book Titles Fat

He was so ugly… he hurt my feelings.

(1894 – 1975) American comedian
Appearance Body Ugly

Eunuch: A man who has had his works cut out for him.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator
Body People

She’s so fat she wears stretch kaftans.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Clothing Fat

If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near forty.

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
Age Appearance People Women

The only thing worse than a husband who never notices what you cook or what you wear is a husband who always notices what you cook and what you wear.

Appearance Cooking Food/Drink Husbands Marriage Murphy’s Laws

Her hair lounges on her shoulders like an anesthetized cocker spaniel.

American journalist & critic
Appearance Hair Insults

The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf.

Appearance Body Golf Murphy’s Laws Sports

Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up

Age Appearance Old Signs

Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Fat Insults

Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of "rich" usually cancels out the nice of "bald.”

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Appearance Characteristics Men People Wealth

Bathing Suit: A garment cut to see level.

Appearance Clothing Definitions Wordplay