Subject: Appearance (Page 37)

I don’t think George Clooney has a bathroom mirror, just a note taped to the wall that says “Don’t worry about it.”

comedian
Appearance Body People

She would be like Richard Wagner if only she looked a bit more feminine.

(1892-1969) English poet & writer
Appearance Insults

She was so ugly she could make a mule back away from an oat bin.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Appearance Insults

Women’s styles may change, but their designs remain the same.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Appearance Clothing People Women

A woman whose face looked as if it had been made of sugar and someone had licked it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Appearance Insults

She looks better goin than comin!

Appearance Body Expressions Ugly

I told my wife that there was a chance that radiation might hurt my reproductive organs, but she said in her opinion it’s a small price to pay.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Appearance Body

T-shirts that get you out of jury duty will not get you through air port security.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Appearance Clothing

She was what we used to call a suicide blonde—dyed by her own hand.

(1915 – 2005) Canadian writer
Appearance Hair People Women

It is only the shallow people who do not judge by appearance.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Appearance People

When you look like I do its hard to get a table for one at Chucky Cheese.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor
Appearance Self

He was so ugly… he hurt my feelings.

(1894 – 1975) American comedian
Appearance Body Ugly

She has a wash and wear bridal gown.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Appearance Clothing Marriage

It's all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself back.

(1943 – ) English rock singer
Activities Appearance Body Fat Self

You can put a coat and tie on a goat, and it’s still a goat.

Animals Appearance Proverbs

Joan Collins told a reporter that she hasn’t had plastic surgery; come on… she’s had more tucks than a motel bedsheet!

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance

I washed my edible underwear and now they're gone.


Appearance Clothing

A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Appearance People

Do you ever wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and think, something’s not accurate?

(1967 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Self

There is a breed of fashion models who weigh no more than an abridged dictionary.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance Body

You might be a redneck if… you work with a shirt off… and so does your husband.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Clothing Husbands People Rednecks