Subject: Appearance (Page 39)

There are three acceptable haircuts: high and tight, crew cut, buzz cut.

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter
Appearance Hair TV/Movie Quotes

T-shirts that get you out of jury duty will not get you through air port security.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Appearance Clothing

You might be a redneck if… you've ever worn a tube-top to a funeral home.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Clothing People Rednecks

She is so fat… when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

You’re as pretty as any of them… you just need a nose job.

(1949 – ) American actor, comedian & writer
Appearance Body TV/Movie Quotes

Her hair lounges on her shoulders like an anesthetized cocker spaniel.

American journalist & critic
Appearance Hair Insults

He's so fat his bathtub has stretch marks.

(1941 – ) American basketball executive
Appearance Body Fat Insults

She is so fat… she broke the family tree.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

He [looks like] an umbrella left behind at a picnic.

(1852 – 1933) Irish writer, poet, art critic & dramatist
Appearance Insults

I've only got one wrinkle and I'm sitting on it.

(1875 – 1997) French, 120 year old woman
Age Appearance Body Old

If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important rule of beauty, which is: who cares?

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
Appearance

Time may be a great healer, but’s it’s a lousy beautician.

Appearance Health Time

If people don’t want to listen to you, what makes you think they want to hear from your sweater.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Appearance Clothing

Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

Appearance Body Definitions

Square meals often make round people.

American entrepreneur & author
Appearance Body Cooking Fat Food/Drink

Clothes and manners do not make the man; but, when he is made, they greatly improve his appearance.

(1813 – 1887) American clergyman, social reformer & abolitionist
Appearance Clothing

There is a breed of fashion models who weigh no more than an abridged dictionary.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance Body

Makeup: Lipstick, eyeliner, blush which ironically makes Mom look better while making her young daughter look “like a tramp.”

Appearance Definitions

I would say the world's in terrible shape, but I'm afraid the world would say, 'Look who's talking!'

(1943 – 1974) American singer (Mamas & Papas)
Appearance Body Fat People Places Self World

Stomach: A bowl-shaped cavity containing the organs of indigestion.

Body Definitions

I had a girlfriend that was so fat she had a dress with a sign on the back saying… Caution Wide Load.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Clothing Fat Girlfriends People