Subject: Appearance (Page 42)

I'm in terrible shape… I need a nap after I fart.

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Appearance Body

She was so tall if she fell down she would be halfway home.

Appearance Body Expressions

That guy has muscles in places most people don't have places.

American basketball broadcaster
Appearance Basketball Body Sports

You really wanna know what you look like to other people?… have a child draw you.

(1975 – ) American comedian & talk radio personality
Appearance People Self

Looking fifty is great – if you're sixty.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Old

He is so fat… he can't even jump to a conclusion.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Blonds must have more fun; how many brunettes do you see walking down the street with blond roots?

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Appearance

He has become the oldest living cute boy in the world.

(1953 – ) American author, journalist & opinion columnist
Age Appearance Insults Old

When it comes to eating, you can sometimes help yourself more by helping yourself less.

(1906 – 1989) American poet & author
Appearance Body Eating Fat Food/Drink

Dirty blonde … I made myself platinum, but I was born a dirty blonde.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance Body Success

He’s so ugly his mother had to borrow a baby to take to church.

Appearance Expressions Ugly

Silicone Treatment: The bust that money can buy.

Appearance Body Definitions

I was getting dressed and a peeping Tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Body Old

I used to look like this when I was young and now I still do.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Appearance Body Yogi-isms

Clothes by a man who doesn’t know women, never had one, and dreams of being one!

(1883 – 1971) French fashion designer & founder of the Chanel brand
Appearance

Maybe it's the hair, maybe it's the teeth, maybe it's the intellect…. no, it's the hair.

(1944 – ) American television critic
Appearance Insults

I had a woman come up to me at the airport and say, “I don’t mean to insult you, but you look like Bobcat Goldthwait.”

(1962 – ) comedian, actor, voice actor, screenwriter, & film & television director
Appearance People Self

Never darken my Dior again!

(1894 – 1989) Canadian actress
Appearance Clothing Situations

You know the message you’re sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You’re telling the world, ‘I give up.’

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Appearance Clothing TV/Movie Quotes

Bald: When one has less hair to comb but more face to wash.

Appearance Definitions

I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Fat Golf Sports