Subject: Appearance (Page 45)

Armor: The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Clothing Communication Definitions Language

Had double chins all the way down to his stomach.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Appearance Body Fat Insults

Bald: When one has less hair to comb but more face to wash.

Appearance Definitions

I'm in terrible shape… I need a nap after I fart.

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Appearance Body

Claire: Your hair looks good, the curls work. Why don’t you get a perm?
Rose Morgan: I tried that once, I looked like Shirley Temple on crack.

(1942 – ) American singer-songwriter, actress, writer, film producer & director
Appearance Hair TV/Movie Quotes

The trouble with nude dancing is that not everything stops when the music stops.

(1909 – 1986) Australian dancer, actor, theater director & choreographer
Body Dance Entertainment

Wear the right costume and the part plays itself.

Appearance Clothing Murphy’s Laws

My friend George is weird because he has false teeth, but he has braces on them.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body

I got the classic Italian male body; I got the ass of a 270-pound man and the chest of a small Romanian gymnast.

(1953 – ) American comedian & writer
Appearance Body

The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Body Clothing Signs

Girdle: Accessory after the fat.

Appearance Clothing Definitions Wordplay

I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don't have to.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Age Clothing Old

A lady is one who never shows her underwear… unintentionally.

(1893 – 1991) novelist, biographer & playwright
Appearance Characteristics Clothing

She was what we used to call a suicide blonde—dyed by her own hand.

(1915 – 2005) Canadian writer
Appearance Hair People Women

Does a fat boy like cake.

Appearance Body Expressions Fat

Esther, warn me before you come in so I have a chance to cover all of the mirrors!.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
Appearance Insults

Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Fat Insults

She is so fat… the police told her to break it up.

Appearance Exaggerations Fat

No woman can be too rich or too thin.

Duchess of Windsor (1896 – 1986) American socialite & wife of the Prince Edward, formerly King Edward VIII
Appearance People Wealth Women

Every time I see you naked I feel bad for your wife.

Czech hockey player
Appearance Body Hockey Sports

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair; but a confident bald man… there's your diamond in the rough.

(1947 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & television producer
Appearance