Subject: Appearance (Page 45)

You don't hit with your face.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Appearance Baseball Yogi-isms

I look like a mix between a Jew and a guy who would drive by in a truck and yell "Jew.”

American comedian
Appearance People Self

Anyone might become homosexual after seeing Glenda Jackson naked.

(1939 – 2001) British author & journalist
Appearance Body Insults

Whoa. Where you going in those pants? 1982?

(1964 – ) American actress, producer & director
Appearance Clothing TV/Movie Quotes

Wear the right costume and the part plays itself.

Appearance Clothing Murphy’s Laws

I really like what mechanics wear… overall.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Clothing Work

Working with Sophia Loren was like being bombed with watermelons.

(1913 – 1964) American film actor
Appearance Body

I actually thought about getting breast implants because I'm a radical, militant feminist and a hypocrite, it turns out.

(1970 – ) American stand-up comedian & voice actor
Appearance Body Characteristics

Women wear a pair of panties but only one bra.

(1946 – ) American comedian
Appearance Clothing Miscellaneous

I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don't have to.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Age Clothing Old

It’s like herpes; you either have it or you don’t.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance

If you want to find guys with small penises, go to the Hummer dealership.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host
Appearance Body

It's only when the tide goes out that you discover who's been swimming naked.

(1930 – ) financier & investment businessman
Clothing Money

Is my wife dissatisfied with my body?… a small part of me says yes.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body

Blubber Island

Appearance Book Titles Fat

But he was the worst dresser in organized baseball; he made Inspector Clouseau look like a candidate for Mr. Blackwell's list of best-dressed men.

American baseball pitcher
Appearance Basketball Clothing Sports

You know you’re getting fat when your socks don’t fit.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor
Appearance Fat

My bottom is so big, it’s got its own gravitational field.

(1960 – ) British media personality
Appearance Body

Guys – if your pants are below your ass you have no right to accuse any lady of dressing slutty.

(1978 – ) American actress, writer & comedian
Appearance Clothing

His face looks like a closed fist.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Appearance Baseball Sports

I’ve got a shirt for every day of the week… it’s blue.

American humorist & public speaker
Appearance Clothing