Subject: Appearance (Page 47)

I ain’t afraid to die fat… that’s my pallbearers’ worry.


Appearance Death Fat

She’s so big, it takes two men and a boy just to look at her.

Appearance Body Expressions Fat

I’ve got a face made for radio.

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire
Appearance Baseball Sports

I look like the wrath of grapes.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Appearance Emotions Food/Drink

Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Fat Insults

I see her as one great stampede of lips directed at the nearest derriere.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Appearance Insults

Tattoo: Permanent proof of temporary insanity.

Appearance Body Definitions

When it comes to eating, you can sometimes help yourself more by helping yourself less.

(1906 – 1989) American poet & author
Appearance Body Eating Fat Food/Drink

Americans like fat books and thin women.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Appearance Body Books Communication People Reading/Writing Women

It's hard having a big nose… all my pullover shirts have stretch marks.

comedian
Appearance Body

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Appearance Body Ugly

My bottom is so big, it’s got its own gravitational field.

(1960 – ) British media personality
Appearance Body

She got her good looks from her father, he’s a plastic surgeon.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Appearance Doctors Family Fathers Health

Blonds must have more fun; how many brunettes do you see walking down the street with blond roots?

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Appearance

When an opera star sings her head off, she usually improves her appearance.

(1909 – 2000) Danish-born comedian & pianist
Appearance Entertainment Music

She's the sort of woman who lives for others… you can tell the others by their hunted expression.

(1898 – 1963) Irish-born British novelist, literary critic & essayist
Appearance Insults

Is my wife dissatisfied with my body?… a small part of me says yes.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body

Ugly as stump full of spiders.

Appearance Expressions Ugly

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with ‘Guess’ on it; I said, ‘Thyroid problems?’

(1956 – ) American comedian
Appearance Body Clothing

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Body Mind People

Change of fashion is the tax levied by the industry of the poor on the vanity of the rich.

(1741 – 1794) French writer
Appearance Money