Subject: Appearance (Page 48)

You might be a redneck if… you have more belt-buckles than pants.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Clothing People Rednecks

Women’s styles may change, but their designs remain the same.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Appearance Clothing People Women

It is better to be looked over than overlooked.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance Body

My New Year’s resolution is to get in shape… I choose round.

(1975 – ) English comedian
Appearance Body Self

That’s where Jack and I were different, he would let his hair down, I just took mine off.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Appearance Hair People Situations

Kiss and make up – but too much makeup has ruined many a kiss.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance Body

I have such poor vision I can date anybody.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Appearance Body Characteristics People

The longer I practice medicine the more convinced I am there are only two types of cases: those that involve taking the trousers off and those that don’t.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Clothing Doctors Health

My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up; so which one's the real hero?

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Clothing

That woman's had her face lifted so many times that whenever she raises her eyebrows she pulls up her stockings.

Appearance Body

Relax, Georgie, I'm just making my collar and cuffs match.

(1908 – 1942) American actress
Appearance Body

As ugly as a bulldog chewing a wasp.

Animals Appearance Dogs Expressions Ugly

There's a new slimming course just out where they remove all your bones; not only do you weigh less, but you also look so much more relaxed.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Appearance Body Fat

He is so ugly… he has to sneak up on his mirror.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

There were many times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Appearance Clothing Money Poverty

If brains were all that important in a beauty contest, you could enter wearing a Hefty Bag.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Appearance Body Intelligence

That baby's cuter than a speckled pup in a red wagon.

Appearance Expressions

Ah yes, she's a fine figure of a woman, isn't she? … a handsome lass if there ever was one – and exceptionally well-preserved too.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Appearance Body

Bagpipes covered in hair.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body

He is so fat… his high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Never trust a man with short legs… his brain's too near his bottom.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Appearance Body Intelligence