Subject: Appearance (Page 5)

Curve: The loveliest distance between two points.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance Body

‘Homemade’ sounds much better when not referring to tattoos.

American comedian & actor
Appearance Body

When I go to the beauty parlor, I always use the emergency entrance.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Places

Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at bowling alleys.

American comedian
Appearance Clothing Shopping

Women love a self-confident bald man.

(1947 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & television producer
Appearance Hair

Christians can have big tits, too.

(1921 – 2011) American film actress & sex symbol
Appearance Beliefs Body Religion

Do you know how short you have to be to have a Napoleon complex in North Korea?

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Body Places

He is so fat… his blood type is Ragu.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

I got some new underwear the other day… well, new to me.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Appearance Clothing

He is so ugly… robbers give him their masks to wear.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

I now consider it a good day when I don’t step on my boobs.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Body Old

If brains were all that important in a beauty contest, you could enter wearing a Hefty Bag.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Appearance Body Intelligence

I thought to myself, join the army… it’s free; so I figured while I’m here I’ll lose a few pounds… I’m going to walk out of here a Lean, Mean, Fightin’ Machine!

(1950 – 1994) Canadian actor & comedian
Appearance Fat TV/Movie Quotes

David Cameron says he’ll put a cap on immigrants coming into the UK… that’s wrong… immigrants should be allowed to wear what they like.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Clothing

The youthful sparkle in his eyes is caused by his contact lenses, which he keeps highly polished.

(1904 – 1988) English-born American syndicated gossip columnist
Appearance Insults

I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Body Old

They don't make 'em too big for this business.

(1928 – ) American stripper, burlesque star & actress
Appearance Body Entertainment

Do you travel as one person or do you get a party rate of ten?

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Appearance Fat TV/Movie Quotes

His nose is so big… he could smoke a cigar in the shower.

Appearance Body Exaggerations

If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near forty.

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
Age Appearance People Women

My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee; unfortunately, she was just coming home.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Clothing Sex Wives