Subject: Appearance (Page 52)

I reckoned if my boobs got any lower I would have to buy them their own pair of shoes.

(1959 – ) British novelist
Activities Appearance Body

Wrinkles are hereditary; parents get them from their children.

(1924 – ) American actress & singer
Appearance Children Family Parents

I had a Jewish delivery; they knock you out with the first pain; they wake you up when the hairdresser shows.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Family

White pants should be worn on two occasions: One, never, and two, if you’re selling ice cream.

(1959 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & television host
Appearance Clothing

I model irregular clothing.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Appearance Clothing

You know you're getting old when you start to dress in more than six colors.

(1936 – 2014) American standup comedian, actor & author
Age Appearance Clothing Old

He is so ugly… when he throws a boomerang it won’t come back.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.

Clothing Military Murphy’s Laws

So what if they're taller? We'll play big.

college basketball coach
Appearance Basketball Body Sports

You might be a redneck if… you have more belt-buckles than pants.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Clothing People Rednecks

Do you ever wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and think, something’s not accurate?

(1967 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Self

Merely because the group is in formation does not mean that the group is on the right course.

Appearance Murphy’s Laws

He is so fat… his shadow weighs 12 pounds.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

The reason women don’t play football is because eleven of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Clothing Football Sports

I dress for women… I undress for men.

(1931 – ) American actress
Appearance Body Clothing Men Sex

I got some new underwear the other day… well, new to me.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Appearance Clothing

It’s like herpes; you either have it or you don’t.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance

Esther Clavin: The last thing I want to see is my son’s face on the 11 o’clock news.

Carla: There’s an entire city that agrees with you.

(1947 – ) American actor & entrepreneur
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes

If you don’t want gays in the military, make the uniforms ugly.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Clothing Government Military

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.

Muppet character (Frank Oz)
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes

She is so short… you can see her feet on her driver's license picture.

Appearance Body Exaggerations