Subject: Appearance (Page 6)

No woman can be too rich or too thin.

Duchess of Windsor (1896 – 1986) American socialite & wife of the Prince Edward, formerly King Edward VIII
Appearance People Wealth Women

Her only flair is in her nostrils.

(1919 – 2001) American film critic
Appearance Reviews/Criticism

There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.

(1900 – 1967) American film actor
Clothing Money Poverty

She has breasts of granite and a mind like a Gruyere cheese.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Appearance Body Insults Mind

I don't think I'm good in bed; my husband never said anything, but after we made love he'd take a piece of chalk and outline my body.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Body Sex Situations

I’d wring your neck… if you had one.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Appearance Body Insults

Why doesn’t the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?


Appearance Body Fat Sports

This girl was ugly. They used her in prisons to cure sex offenders.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Ugly

No matter how many alterations, cheap pants never fit.

Appearance Clothing Murphy’s Laws

It is totally impossible to be well dressed in cheap shoes.

(1909 – 2003) English fashion designer
Appearance Clothing

If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near forty.

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
Age Appearance People Women

A crown is merely a hat that lets the rain in.

(1712 – 1786) King of Prussia
Appearance Clothing

People always ask me how long it takes to do my hair – I don’t know, I’m never there.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & actress
Appearance Hair

He is so fat… people jump over him rather than go around.

Appearance Exaggerations Fat

A triumph of the embalmer's art.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Appearance Insults

All God’s children are not beautiful; most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Appearance People

The same dress is indecent ten years before its time; daring one year before its time; chic in its time; dowdy five years after its time; hideous twenty years after its time; amusing thirty years after its time; romantic one hundred years after its time; beautiful one hundred and fifty years after its time.

(1899 – 1975) English fashion designer & critic
Appearance Clothing

I don’t think George Clooney has a bathroom mirror, just a note taped to the wall that says “Don’t worry about it.”

comedian
Appearance Body People

The only parts left of my original body are my elbows.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Body People Self

Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Fat Insults

He is so fat… when he steps on a scale, it reads "one at a time, please."

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat