Subject: Appearance (Page 7)

I lent a friend of mine $10,000 for plastic surgery and now I don’t know what he looks like.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Appearance Money

"Play it as it lies" is one of the fundamental dictates of golf; the other is "Wear it if it clashes."

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Appearance Clothing Golf Sports

I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don't have to.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Age Clothing Old

I told my psychiatrist I keep thinking I’m ugly and he told me to lay on the couch… face down!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Doctors Health Ugly

I washed my edible underwear and now they're gone.


Appearance Clothing

Boy George is all England needs – another queen who can't dress.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Clothing England Insults Places

Time may be a great healer, but’s it’s a lousy beautician.

Appearance Health Time

He's grinning like a possum eating a persimmon.

Appearance Expressions

How do I know what you said? Damn you and your noise-cancelling breasts.

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes

Smile, it enhances your face value.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & actress
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes

My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Appearance Characteristics Clothing

He was a man of great statue.

Appearance Body Malaprops

I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Age Appearance Body Old

I just lost 10 pounds on a new diet called ‘the flu.’

(1970 – ) American actor, producer & stand up comedian
Appearance Body Health

Kiss and make up – but too much makeup has ruined many a kiss.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance Body

My bottom is so big, it’s got its own gravitational field.

(1960 – ) British media personality
Appearance Body

If your body is 90 per cent water why have you got to drink water all the time? Why can’t you just have some crisps?

(1975 – ) English comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Body Mind People

Dramatic art in her opinion is knowing how to fill a sweater.

(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater
Appearance Insults

Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Activities Clothing Sex Things Women

Smilin’ like a goat in a briarpatch

Appearance Expressions