Subject: Appearance (Page 7)

There is an obesity epidemic; one out of every three Americans… weighs as much as the other two.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body

I not only get recognized – I get recognized from behind.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Appearance Body

Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and started growing in the middle.

Age Appearance Body People

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance People Self

Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

Appearance Body Definitions

You might be a redneck if… you've ever bought lingerie at a yard sale.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Clothing People Rednecks Shopping

You can put a coat and tie on a goat, and it’s still a goat.

Animals Appearance Proverbs

A waist is a terrible thing to mind.

Appearance Body Fat

I've been big ever since I was little.

American football player
Appearance Body Football Sports

I saw a guy today who had rings and hooks and pens and antennas hanging out his cheeks and his eyebrows; looked like somebody hit him in the head with a tackle box.

(1973 – ) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body

John Conteh has a neck like a stately home staircase.

English boxer
Appearance Body Boxing Sports

I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body; then I realized who was telling me this.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Body Intelligence

Bikini: Baiting Suit.

Clothing Definitions

I’m so ugly – my father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Children Family Fathers Ugly

I don’t think cops should wear mirrored sunglasses; the whole time the guy was chewing me out, all I could think was “I should cut my bangs.”

Canadian-American comedian & writer
Appearance Hair Situations

It's got lots of installation.

Appearance Clothing Malaprops

We were making love and I took the bag off my head.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Death Ugly

The weirder you’re going to behave, the more normal you should look.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Appearance Clothing

Her body has gone to her head.

(1907 – 1990) American actress
Appearance Body Insults

Actually, it only seems as though you mustn't be deceived by appearances.

Appearance Characteristics Murphy’s Laws

My wife is Hawaiian; well… no she’s not, but she’s shaped like a pineapple.

(1955 – ) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body Wives