Subject: Appearance (Page 7)

Paunch: A bulging trunk.

Appearance Body Definitions

I was so ugly that my parents sent my picture to Ripley’s Believe It or Not: they sent it back and said, “We don’t believe it.”

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Ugly

He's a disappointed narcissist.

(1949 – ) English actor, writer & theater director
Appearance Body Insults

The fashion wears out more apparel than the man.

(1564 – 1616) English dramatist & poet
Appearance Clothing

You know you’re getting fat when your socks don’t fit.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor
Appearance Fat

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body

It is only the shallow people who do not judge by appearance.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Appearance People

Gal reminds me of the highway between Forth Worth and Dallas – no curves.

cartoon character (Mel Blanc)
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes

Lady Astor to Churchill: ‘Sir you’re drunk!’

Churchill’s reply: Yes, madam, I am drunk, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Appearance Beliefs Opinion

You’re only has good as your last haircut.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Appearance

I can’t die… it would ruin my image.

(1914 – 2011) American exercise expert
Appearance People Self

Americans like fat books and thin women.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Appearance Body Books Communication People Reading/Writing Women

She is so ugly… when she goes swimming the tide goes out.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty.

Appearance Proverbs

I once went out with this girl, she was no bargain either, she showed up with pigtails under her arms.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Dating Hair

In her last days, she resembled a spoiled pear.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Appearance Insults

A woman is as old as she looks before breakfast.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Age Appearance Old People Women

I'm so sick of these men who just talk about themselves… I'm looking for a well-hung mime.

(1964 – ) Canadian stand-up comedian, actress & television host
Body Men Speech

They don't make 'em too big for this business.

(1928 – ) American stripper, burlesque star & actress
Appearance Body Entertainment

1. Fat expands to fill any apparel worn.
2. A fat person walks in the middle of the hall.

Appearance Body Fat Murphy’s Laws

He was young – He was fair – But the Injuns – Raised his hair

Conflict Epitaphs Hair Young