Subject: Appearance (Page 8)

Angelina Jolie has a fine pair of child-bearing lips.

Irish journalist & film critic
Appearance Reviews/Criticism

Penis: The male organ used to write one’s name in snow.

Body Definitions Men

A woman whose face looked as if it had been made of sugar and someone had licked it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Appearance Insults

So short he has to stand on a box to kick a duck in the ass.

Appearance Body Expressions

People ask me how much I weigh. I tell them, 145 pounds, naked; that is, if that scale outside the drugstore is anything to go by.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Appearance Self

He doesn't die his hair – he's just prematurely orange.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
Appearance Hair Insults

Paunch: A bulging trunk.

Appearance Body Definitions

Reform: To gain or lose weight.

Appearance Body Definitions

It is better to be looked over than overlooked.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance Body

How much would you charge to haunt a house?

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Appearance Communication

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance People

Wrinkles are hereditary; parents get them from their children.

(1924 – ) American actress & singer
Appearance Children Family Parents

If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important rule of beauty, which is: who cares?

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
Appearance

He had better get married soon, because he's getting uglier every day!

Canadian hockey player
Appearance Hockey Sports Ugly

She looked like a huge ball of fur on two well-developed legs.

(1904 – 1973) English novelist & biographer
Appearance

I manufactured clown shoes… which was no small feat.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Clothing Work

He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Appearance Insults

He had one eye, and the popular prejudice runs in favor of two.

(1812 – 1870) English novelist
Appearance Body

There were many times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Appearance Clothing Money Poverty

She cain’t help bein’ ugly, but she coulda stayed at home!

Appearance Ugly

The fashion wears out more apparel than the man.

(1564 – 1616) English dramatist & poet
Appearance Clothing