Subject: Appearance (Page 8)

They used to shoot her through gauze; you should shoot me through linoleum.

(1903 – 1968) movie actress
Appearance People Self

He had the sort of face that makes you realize God does have a sense of humor.

American author
Appearance Insults

He's grinning like a possum eating a persimmon.

Appearance Expressions

It’s easy to tell when you’ve got a bargain – it doesn’t fit.

Activities Clothing Murphy’s Laws Shopping

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Appearance Body Fat People Women

White pants should be worn on two occasions: One, never, and two, if you’re selling ice cream.

(1959 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & television host
Appearance Clothing

Penis: Part of the male anatomy which contains the brain.

Body Definitions Men

Do you travel as one person or do you get a party rate of ten?

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Appearance Fat TV/Movie Quotes

There are three acceptable haircuts: high and tight, crew cut, buzz cut.

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter
Appearance Hair TV/Movie Quotes

The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.

Body Cold Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Situations

[to Sam] … You’re almost as good looking as Diane says you think you are.

(1923 – ) British actress, dancer, pianist & singer
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes

Dr. Frankenstein: You know, I’m a rather brilliant surgeon. Perhaps I can help you with that hump.

Igor: What hump?

(1934 – 1982) English writer, comedian & actor
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes

I wouldn’t change anything but I could do with sharing my bottom and thighs with at least two other people.

(1949 – ) British media personality & author
Appearance Body

He looked like something that had gotten loose from Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

(1888 – 1964) comedian & actor
Appearance Body Insults

She is so fat… she laid on the beach and people tried to push her back into the ocean.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

I saw a guy today who had rings and hooks and pens and antennas hanging out his cheeks and his eyebrows; looked like somebody hit him in the head with a tackle box.

(1973 – ) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body

A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.

Clothing Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

May I say Penny, not a lot of women could look as hot as you do with such greasy hair.

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes

Little things start to change in your life — like your socks start to get tight.

(1953 – ) American comedian & actor
Appearance Body Fat

An ounce of sequins can be worth a pound of home cooking.

(1946 – ) American magazine columnist, author, lecturer & playwright
Appearance Body Clothing Fat

He's so fat his bathtub has stretch marks.

(1941 – ) American basketball executive
Appearance Body Fat Insults