Subject: Appearance (Page 8)

My body is dropping so fast, my gynecologist wears a hard hat.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Body Doctors Old

When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Activities Appearance Travel

She is so fat… when she takes a shower her feet don't get wet.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

When you wear new shoes for the first time, everyone will step on them.

Appearance Clothing Murphy’s Laws

He is so fat… his blood type is Ragu.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

If someone told him to haul ass he'd have to make six trips.

Appearance Body Expressions Fat

It is only the shallow people who do not judge by appearance.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Appearance People

Edible underwear?… even during sex, we can't stop eating.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Eating Fat Food/Drink Sex

All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, ‘See, there’s a fat guy doing okay. Bring me another beer.’

American baseball player
Appearance Baseball Fat Sports

She is so fat… she laid on the beach and people tried to push her back into the ocean.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Lester: If you play your cards right, you could have my body.

Halley Reed: Wouldn’t you rather leave it to science?

(1945 – ) American model, activist & actress
Body TV/Movie Quotes

I kept thinking, if his face was that wrinkled, what did his balls look like?

(1937 – ) English painter, printmaker, stage designer & photographer
Appearance

I’ve got ten pairs of training shoes… one for every day of the week.

(1966 – ) English dance-pop singer, actress & former model
Appearance Clothing Misspokements

Americans like fat books and thin women.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Appearance Body Books Communication People Reading/Writing Women

The curve is more powerful than the sword.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance Body

You might be a redneck if… the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Body Marriage People Rednecks Wives

I was so ugly, my mother breast fed me through a straw.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Hair Self

Square meals often make round people.

American entrepreneur & author
Appearance Body Cooking Fat Food/Drink

I tried cocaine to lose weight… it just made me eat faster.

(1953 – ) American comedian & actor
Activities Appearance Body Drugs Eating Fat

I would give my left nut for a really nice guitar… I don't actually play the guitar, but I have three testicles.

(1981 – ) American comedian, writer & actor
Appearance Body

Eunuch: One who is cut off from temptation.

Body Definitions