Subject: Appearance (Page 9)

Never trust a man with short legs… his brain's too near his bottom.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Appearance Body Intelligence

Actually, it only seems as though you mustn't be deceived by appearances.

Appearance Characteristics Murphy’s Laws

In feathered hats that were once the rage, she resembles a petrified parakeet from the Jurassic age; a royal wreck.

Richard Blackwell (1922 – 2008) fashion critic, journalist, & designer
Appearance Insults

Rando: Nice wig, Janice. What’s it made of?
Janis: Your mom’s chest hair!

(1982 – ) American actress & model
Appearance Hair TV/Movie Quotes

Don't give a woman advice; one should never give a woman anything she can't wear in the evening.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Clothing People Women

She was so ugly that her face could stop a sundial.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Ugly

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it’s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance Clothing Golf People Religion Sports

Some men climb mountains, others date ‘em!

(1944 – ) American actor, director & producer
Appearance Fat TV/Movie Quotes

She looks like something that would eat its young.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Appearance Insults

Why does everything you wear look like it’s bearing a grudge, darling?

(1958 – ) English comedian, screenwriter & actress
Appearance Clothing TV/Movie Quotes

He had one eye, and the popular prejudice runs in favor of two.

(1812 – 1870) English novelist
Appearance Body

I don’t want something around my neck that’s worth more than my head.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Appearance Clothing

Judge not a man by his clothes, but by his wife's clothes.

(1864 – 1930) Scottish whisky distiller
Appearance Clothing Men People Wives

I’m still trying to understand the wearing of high heels at the airport.

(1969 – ) American comedian & actor
Appearance Clothing

Nothing wise was ever printed upon an apron.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Appearance Clothing Intelligence Wisdom

I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, 'Marry him, you'll double your wardrobe.'

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Clothing Marriage

No woman can be too rich or too thin.

Duchess of Windsor (1896 – 1986) American socialite & wife of the Prince Edward, formerly King Edward VIII
Appearance People Wealth Women

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Appearance Clothing

If you want to find guys with small penises, go to the Hummer dealership.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host
Appearance Body

I got the classic Italian male body; I got the ass of a 270-pound man and the chest of a small Romanian gymnast.

(1953 – ) American comedian & writer
Appearance Body

She’s so fat she wears stretch kaftans.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Clothing Fat