Subject: Appearance » Ugly

He is so ugly… robbers give him their masks to wear.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

She cain’t help bein’ ugly, but she coulda stayed at home!

Appearance Ugly

She has got 10 foot pole marks all over her.

Appearance Expressions Ugly

When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Appearance Family Mothers Ugly

When I answer the door the kids hand ME candy.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Self Situations Ugly

He is so ugly… when he throws a boomerang it won’t come back.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

My husband was so ugly, he used to stand outside the doctor’s office and make people sick.

(1894 – 1975) American comedian
Appearance Health Husbands Marriage Ugly

I’m callin’ you ugly, I could stick yo face in some dough and make some gorilla cookies.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes Ugly

He is so ugly… his doctor is a vet.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

I went to the doctor and said, “Doc, every morning when I wake up and look in the mirror, I throw up. What’s wrong?” The doctor said, “I don’t know, but your eyesight is perfect.”

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Self Ugly

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion; he said okay, you’re ugly too.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Ugly

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Appearance Clothing Ugly

The last time I saw a mouth like that it had a hook in it.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Ugly

Last week I stated that this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen… I have since been visited by her sister and now wish to withdraw that statement.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Appearance Ugly

If you have to release bad news to the public, it would help if you are not ugly.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Ugly

She’s so ugly… when she entered an ugly contest the judges said, "No professionals."

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

She was so ugly that her face could stop a sundial.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Ugly

He’s so ugly his mother had to borrow a baby to take to church.

Appearance Expressions Ugly

He is so ugly… he has to sneak up on his mirror.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

Aunt Esther: Who you calling ugly, sucker?

Fred: I’m calling you ugly, I could push our face in some dough and make gorilla cookies.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes Ugly

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Appearance Body Ugly