Subject: Appearance » Ugly

Aunt Esther: My body was blessed by Mother Nature, honey.

Fred: And as you got older, it was cursed by Father Time.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes Ugly

I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Ugly

Aunt Esther: Who you calling ugly, sucker?

Fred: I’m calling you ugly, I could push our face in some dough and make gorilla cookies.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes Ugly

She is so ugly… when she goes swimming the tide goes out.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

As ugly as a bulldog chewing a wasp.

Animals Appearance Dogs Expressions Ugly

He’s so ugly his mother had to borrow a baby to take to church.

Appearance Expressions Ugly

She was so ugly that her face could stop a sundial.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Ugly

The life expectancy of a house plant varies inversely with its price and directly with its ugliness.

Appearance Murphy’s Laws Ugly

The last time I saw a mouth like that it had a hook in it.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Ugly

Ugly as a moose chewin ice

Appearance Expressions Ugly

We were making love and I took the bag off my head.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Death Ugly

She’s so ugly she makes onions cry.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

Ugly as home made sin on a Sunday.

Appearance Ugly

This girl was ugly. They used her in prisons to cure sex offenders.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Ugly

He is so ugly… when he walks into the bank they turn off the cameras.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they’ve got nothing to lose.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Appearance Conflict Fights Individuals People Ugly

If you have to release bad news to the public, it would help if you are not ugly.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Ugly

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Appearance Clothing Ugly

If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.

Clothing Murphy’s Laws Ugly

She looks better goin than comin!

Appearance Body Expressions Ugly

I'd hire her to haunt a house!

Appearance Miscellaneous Ugly