Subject: Appearance » Ugly

I'd hire her to haunt a house!

Appearance Miscellaneous Ugly

My husband was so ugly, he used to stand outside the doctor’s office and make people sick.

(1894 – 1975) American comedian
Appearance Health Husbands Marriage Ugly

He is so ugly… he has to sneak up on his mirror.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

She has got 10 foot pole marks all over her.

Appearance Expressions Ugly

He’s so ugly his mother had to borrow a baby to take to church.

Appearance Expressions Ugly

He is so ugly… his doctor is a vet.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

She’s so ugly… when she entered an ugly contest the judges said, "No professionals."

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

My girlfriend was no bargain either; she used to braid her armpits.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Girlfriends Hair People Ugly

If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.

Clothing Murphy’s Laws Ugly

There's only one thing wrong with my wife's face – it shows.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Ugly

Receiving oral sex from an ugly person is like rock climbing; you should never look down.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Sex Ugly

Aunt Esther: Who you calling ugly, sucker?

Fred: I’m calling you ugly, I could push our face in some dough and make gorilla cookies.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes Ugly

She has a face like a saint – a St. Bernard!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Animals Appearance Dogs Ugly

She is so ugly… she has to trick or treat over the phone.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

He had better get married soon, because he's getting uglier every day!

Canadian hockey player
Appearance Hockey Sports Ugly

He is so ugly… robbers give him their masks to wear.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

If you have to release bad news to the public, it would help if you are not ugly.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Ugly

He is so ugly… when he walks into the bank they turn off the cameras.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

He was so ugly… he hurt my feelings.

(1894 – 1975) American comedian
Appearance Body Ugly

When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Appearance Family Mothers Ugly

He's got a face like the north end of a south bound cow.

Appearance Expressions Ugly