Subject: Appearance » Ugly (Page 2)

He was so ugly… he hurt my feelings.

(1894 – 1975) American comedian
Appearance Body Ugly

Last week I stated that this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen… I have since been visited by her sister and now wish to withdraw that statement.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Appearance Ugly

Receiving oral sex from an ugly person is like rock climbing; you should never look down.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Sex Ugly

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion; he said okay, you’re ugly too.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Ugly

I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Eating Food/Drink Mothers Ugly

He’s so ugly his mother had to borrow a baby to take to church.

Appearance Expressions Ugly

He is so ugly… when he throws a boomerang it won’t come back.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

She is so ugly… when she goes swimming the tide goes out.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Ugly

My girlfriend was no bargain either; she used to braid her armpits.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Girlfriends Hair People Ugly

I was so ugly that my parents sent my picture to Ripley’s Believe It or Not: they sent it back and said, “We don’t believe it.”

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Ugly

She’s so ugly she makes onions cry.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Body Self Ugly

The life expectancy of a house plant varies inversely with its price and directly with its ugliness.

Appearance Murphy’s Laws Ugly

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night… and reduce the crime rate.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Conflict Crime People Self Ugly

We were making love and I took the bag off my head.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Death Ugly

Aunt Esther: Who you calling ugly, sucker?

Fred: I’m calling you ugly, I could push our face in some dough and make gorilla cookies.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes Ugly

Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
Appearance Ugly

She was so ugly that her face could stop a sundial.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Ugly

Things could always be worse; for instance, you could be ugly and work in the Post Office.

writer, humorist, columnist & speaker
Appearance Characteristics Ugly Work

I’m a character actor, which is a polite way of saying ‘ugly.’

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Occupations Ugly Work