Subject: Appearance » Ugly (Page 3)

I went to the doctor and said, “Doc, every morning when I wake up and look in the mirror, I throw up. What’s wrong?” The doctor said, “I don’t know, but your eyesight is perfect.”

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Self Ugly

The baby is fine; the only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Appearance Insults Relationships Ugly

He's got a face like the north end of a south bound cow.

Appearance Expressions Ugly

I was so ugly that my parents sent my picture to Ripley’s Believe It or Not: they sent it back and said, “We don’t believe it.”

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Ugly

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Appearance Clothing Ugly

When I answer the door the kids hand ME candy.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Self Situations Ugly

As ugly as a bulldog chewing a wasp.

Animals Appearance Dogs Expressions Ugly

She’s so ugly she makes onions cry.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Ugly

Receiving oral sex from an ugly person is like rock climbing; you should never look down.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Sex Ugly

He is so ugly… the psychiatrist makes him lie face down.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

She was so ugly that when I bent down to pet her cat it turned out to be the hair on her legs.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Hair Ugly

I’m callin’ you ugly, I could stick yo face in some dough and make some gorilla cookies.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes Ugly

If I had a dog with a face like yours, I’d shave its ass and teach it to walk backward.

(1953 – 1987) Dutch-born American actor
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes Ugly

My husband was so ugly, he used to stand outside the doctor’s office and make people sick.

(1894 – 1975) American comedian
Appearance Health Husbands Marriage Ugly

There's only one thing wrong with my wife's face – it shows.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Ugly

He was so ugly… he hurt my feelings.

(1894 – 1975) American comedian
Appearance Body Ugly

She was known as a two bagger; that’s when a girl is so ugly that you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Ugly

He is so ugly… robbers give him their masks to wear.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

She is so ugly… when she walked in to Taco Bell, everyone ran for the border.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

I’m a character actor, which is a polite way of saying ‘ugly.’

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Occupations Ugly Work