Subject: Appearance » Ugly (Page 3)

I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance People Self Ugly

As ugly as a bulldog chewing a wasp.

Animals Appearance Dogs Expressions Ugly

Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
TV/Movie Quotes Ugly

No one is as ugly as their passport photo.

Appearance Murphy’s Laws Ugly

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion; he said okay, you’re ugly too.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Ugly

The life expectancy of a house plant varies inversely with its price and directly with its ugliness.

Appearance Murphy’s Laws Ugly

If I had a dog with a face like yours, I’d shave its ass and teach it to walk backward.

(1953 – 1987) Dutch-born American actor
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes Ugly

She’s so ugly she makes onions cry.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

He is so ugly… when he throws a boomerang it won’t come back.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

I’m so ugly – my father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Children Family Fathers Ugly

He is so ugly… when he walks into the bank they turn off the cameras.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

Ugly as a moose chewin ice

Appearance Expressions Ugly

Receiving oral sex from an ugly person is like rock climbing; you should never look down.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Sex Ugly

She is so ugly… when she gets up, the sun goes down.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

She has got 10 foot pole marks all over her.

Appearance Expressions Ugly

He is so ugly… his doctor is a vet.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

I went to the doctor and said, “Doc, every morning when I wake up and look in the mirror, I throw up. What’s wrong?” The doctor said, “I don’t know, but your eyesight is perfect.”

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Self Ugly

Ugly as stump full of spiders.

Appearance Expressions Ugly

She was so ugly that her face could stop a sundial.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Ugly

Aunt Esther: Who you calling ugly, sucker?

Fred: I’m calling you ugly, I could push our face in some dough and make gorilla cookies.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes Ugly

When I answer the door the kids hand ME candy.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Self Situations Ugly