Subject: Beliefs » God

I have too much respect for the idea of God to make it responsible for such an absurd world.

(1884 – 1966) French author
Beliefs God

The only thing God didn't do to Job was give him a computer.

(1907 – 1989) American writer
Beliefs Computers God Things

The pug is living proof that God has a sense of humor.

(1954 – 2000) humorist, writer & radio commentator
Animals Beliefs Dogs God

I used to get bummed out when it rained; then I realized that it's God's way of washing off hippies.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Beliefs God People

It is impossible to believe that the same God who permitted His own son to die a bachelor regards celibacy as an actual sin.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Beliefs God Religion Sex

It is the final proof of God’s omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist
Beliefs God

A man can no more diminish God’s glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word ‘darkness’ on the walls of his cell.

(1898 – 1963) Irish-born British novelist, literary critic & essayist
Beliefs God

God is silent; now if only man would shut up.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs God People

If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Beliefs God

God writes a lot of comedy… the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

(1942 – ) humorist & radio broadcaster
Emotions Entertainment God

The only thing that stops God sending a second Flood is that the first one was useless.

(1741 – 1794) French writer
Beliefs God

The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord it ain't the gout.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
God Health

An apology for the devil: it must be remembered that we have heard only one side of the case; God has written all the books.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Beliefs Books God

I believe our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Animals Beliefs God People

It only rains straight down… God doesn't do windows.


God

In the beginning, there was nothing. And God said, 'Let there be Light.' And there was still nothing, but you could see it a bit better.

Beliefs God Situations

Go back to what our founders and our founding documents meant – they’re quite clear –- that we would create law based on the God of the Bible and the Ten Commandments.

(1964 – ) U.S. governor (Alaska) commentator & author
Beliefs God Government Misspokements Stupidity

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Emotions God Love Marriage

It’s hard to believe that if there is a God, he would want people to stand in the street and shout like maniacs. I think He would choose better qualified people.

(1980 – ) English comedian & novelist
Beliefs God People

The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind – a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs God Places

If I’m on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast… if God wants to play through, let him.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
God Golf Sports