Subject: Beliefs » God

A skeptic is a person who would ask God for his ID card.


Characteristics God

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Activities Drugs God People

It is impossible to believe that the same God who permitted His own son to die a bachelor regards celibacy as an actual sin.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Beliefs God Religion Sex

God enters into each individual by a private door… and sometimes that can prove to be quite painful.

(1933 – ) American disc jockey & television host
Beliefs God

In the first place God made idiots; that was for practice; then he made school boards.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Education Fools God Insults Intelligence

Sex is God's joke on human beings.

(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater
Beliefs God People Sex

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Beliefs God Religion

God was left out of the Constitution but was furnished a front seat on the coins of the country.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs God

Fruit… it's just God showing off… “Look at all the colors I know!”

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Beliefs God

Why should I talk to you?… I've just been talking to your boss.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Beliefs Communication Death God

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.

(1926 – ) film director, screenwriter, composer, comedian, actor & producer
Activities Beliefs God Travel

I hear [soccer player] Glenn Hoddle has found God; that must have been one hell of a pass.

(Robert Norman Davis) (1945 – ) British comedian & actor
Beliefs God

An apology for the devil: it must be remembered that we have heard only one side of the case; God has written all the books.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Beliefs Books God

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Emotions God Love Marriage

If you call on God to improve the results of a shot while it is still in motion, you are using “an outside agency” and subject to appropriate penalties under the rules of golf.

British golf writer & commentator
God Golf Sports

Good God, how much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth-decay in His divine system of creation?

(1923 – 1999) American satirical novelist, short story writer & playwright
Beliefs God Health

As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck we give the gods credit for.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
God Intelligence Wisdom

And God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on Me; and let there be lawyers so people don't blame everything on Satan.’

Canadian comedian & author
Beliefs God Lawyers

I used to get bummed out when it rained; then I realized that it's God's way of washing off hippies.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Beliefs God People

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs God

If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Beliefs God