Subject: Beliefs » God (Page 2)

When one guy sees an invisible man he’s a nut case; ten people see him it’s a cult; ten million people see him it’s a respected religion.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs Characteristics God Intelligence Religion

The missionaries go forth to Christianize the savages – as if the savages weren't dangerous enough already.

(1927 – 1989) author, essayist & environmentalist
Beliefs God Opinion Religion

God is not on the side of the big battalions, but on the side of those who shoot best.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Conflict God War

Don’t they realize that if God took sports seriously he never would have created George Steinbrenner.

(1932 – ) American political satirist & comedian
God Sports

Go back to what our founders and our founding documents meant – they’re quite clear –- that we would create law based on the God of the Bible and the Ten Commandments.

(1964 – ) U.S. governor (Alaska) commentator & author
Beliefs God Government Misspokements Stupidity

God is not dead but alive and working on a much less ambitious project.

Beliefs God

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Activities Drugs God People

If you’re caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron; not even God can hit a 1-iron.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
God Golf Sports

If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Beliefs Children God Religion

And God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on Me; and let there be lawyers so people don't blame everything on Satan.’

Canadian comedian & author
Beliefs God Lawyers

It’s hard to believe that if there is a God, he would want people to stand in the street and shout like maniacs. I think He would choose better qualified people.

(1980 – ) English comedian & novelist
Beliefs God People

If God wanted me to bend over, he’d have put diamonds on the floor.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Activities God

Don't get me wrong, I believe in God; I just don't trust anybody who works for him.

television executive & comedian
Beliefs God

The stopwatch has stopped. It's up to God and the referee now. The referee is Pat Horan. God is God.

Irish Gaelic games commentator
God Sports

In the beginning there was nothing and God said ‘Let there be light,’ and there was still nothing, but everybody could see it.

(1949 – ) Canadian comedian & actor
Beliefs God

Fruit… it's just God showing off… “Look at all the colors I know!”

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Beliefs God

The difference between God and the historians consists above all in the fact that God cannot alter the past.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Beliefs God History Time

How can I believe in God when only last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs Body God Things

God will pardon me… it is His trade.

(1797 – 1856) German critic & poet
Beliefs God

If God wanted women to understand men, football would never have been created.

novelist, screenwriter & businessman
Football God Men Sports Women

In the beginning, there was nothing. And God said, 'Let there be Light.' And there was still nothing, but you could see it a bit better.

Beliefs God Situations