Subject: Beliefs » God (Page 4)

A man can no more diminish God’s glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word ‘darkness’ on the walls of his cell.

(1898 – 1963) Irish-born British novelist, literary critic & essayist
Beliefs God

Church: Man’s effort to keep a roof over God’s head.

Beliefs Definitions God

A skeptic is a person who would ask God for his ID card.


Characteristics God

I know I’m God because when I pray to him I find I’m talking to myself.

(1931 – 2004) English playwright & screenwriter
Beliefs God People Self

Every day, people are straying away from the Church and going back to God.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Beliefs God Religion

May God defend me from my friends; I can defend myself from my enemies.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Friends God Old People

The pug is living proof that God has a sense of humor.

(1954 – 2000) humorist, writer & radio commentator
Animals Beliefs Dogs God

I used to get bummed out when it rained; then I realized that it's God's way of washing off hippies.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Beliefs God People

Why's God always got such wacky shit to say?… when's the last time you heard somebody say, 'God told me to get a muffin and a cup of tea and cool out, man.'

American comedian & actor
Beliefs Communication God Speech

God is not dead but alive and working on a much less ambitious project.

Beliefs God

I wore flowers in my hair and meditated for hours on end. I was finding God all over the place… He kept ditching me.

(1938 – ) American actor
God TV/Movie Quotes

I wish God were alive to see this.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
God TV/Movie Quotes

The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind – a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs God Places

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Emotions God Love Marriage

The good Lord never gives you more than you can handle… unless you die of something.

(1935 – ) American cartoonist
Beliefs Death God Life Problems

God always has another custard pie up His sleeve.

(1943 – 2010) English actress
Beliefs God Situations

If I’m on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast… if God wants to play through, let him.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
God Golf Sports

War is God's way of teaching us geography.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Conflict God War

A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Beliefs God

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.

(1926 – ) film director, screenwriter, composer, comedian, actor & producer
Activities Beliefs God Travel

The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord it ain't the gout.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
God Health