Subject: Beliefs » God (Page 4)

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Beliefs God Religion

There are no atheists in foxholes.

(1828-1882) English poet, illustrator, painter & translator
Beliefs God

Don't get me wrong, I believe in God; I just don't trust anybody who works for him.

television executive & comedian
Beliefs God

Droughts are because God didn’t pay his water bill.


God

When one guy sees an invisible man he’s a nut case; ten people see him it’s a cult; ten million people see him it’s a respected religion.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs Characteristics God Intelligence Religion

If I’m on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast… if God wants to play through, let him.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
God Golf Sports

If God had intended us to go around naked, He would have made us that way.

Appearance Beliefs Clothing God

Pray, pray very much; but beware of telling god what you want.

Beliefs God Proverbs

God is usually on the side of the big squadrons against the small.

(1618 – 1693) French memoirist
Conflict God War

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs God

The only thing wrong with being an atheist is that there's nobody to talk to during an orgasm.

Beliefs God Sex

I’m an Atheist… thank God.

(1936 – 2005) Irish comedian
Beliefs God Religion Wordplay

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Beliefs Drugs God People

God writes a lot of comedy… the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

(1942 – ) humorist & radio broadcaster
Emotions Entertainment God

When you come to Heritage USA, remember to bring your Bible and your VISA card—because the Bible is the Holy Truth, and God doesn't take American Express.

(1939 – ) American televangelist
Beliefs God Money

Men don't get cellulite — God might just be a man.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Beliefs God Men

An atheist is one who hopes the Lord will do nothing to disturb his disbelief.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Beliefs God

It’s hard to believe that if there is a God, he would want people to stand in the street and shout like maniacs. I think He would choose better qualified people.

(1980 – ) English comedian & novelist
Beliefs God People

If God, as some now say, is dead, He no doubt died of trying to find an equitable solution to the Arab-Jewish problem.

(1907 – 1989) American writer
Beliefs God Government

I was working on a flat tax proposal and accidentally proved there was no God.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Beliefs God TV/Movie Quotes

If God were suddenly condemned to live the life which he has inflicted on men, he would kill himself.

(1824 – 1895) French writer
Beliefs God Life People