Subject: Beliefs » God (Page 5)

The only thing wrong with being an atheist is that there's nobody to talk to during an orgasm.

Beliefs God Sex

Gods like to see an atheist around… gives them something to aim at.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Beliefs God

If you want to know what God thinks of money, you only have to look at those to whom he gives it.

(1874 – 1945) English writer, translator & war correspondent
Beliefs God Money

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Emotions God Love Marriage

If God had intended us to go around naked, He would have made us that way.

Appearance Beliefs Clothing God

What can you say about a society that says that God is dead and Elvis is alive?

(1912 – 2003) newspaper columnist
Beliefs God

Droughts are because God didn’t pay his water bill.


God

Pray, pray very much; but beware of telling god what you want.

Beliefs God Proverbs

I hear [soccer player] Glenn Hoddle has found God; that must have been one hell of a pass.

(Robert Norman Davis) (1945 – ) British comedian & actor
Beliefs God

Saying that you don’t believe in magic but do believe in God is a bit like saying you don’t have sex with dogs, except Labradors.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Beliefs God

The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord it ain't the gout.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
God Health

Don't get me wrong, I believe in God; I just don't trust anybody who works for him.

television executive & comedian
Beliefs God

Fruit… it's just God showing off… “Look at all the colors I know!”

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Beliefs God

Man is Creation’s masterpiece; but who says so?

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Beliefs God

I know God will not give me anything I can't handle; I just wish that He didn't trust me so much."

(1910 – 1997) Albanian–born Indian Roman Catholic nun
Beliefs God

Go back to what our founders and our founding documents meant – they’re quite clear –- that we would create law based on the God of the Bible and the Ten Commandments.

(1964 – ) U.S. governor (Alaska) commentator & author
Beliefs God Government Misspokements Stupidity

And God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on Me; and let there be lawyers so people don't blame everything on Satan.’

Canadian comedian & author
Beliefs God Lawyers

If God were suddenly condemned to live the life which he has inflicted on men, he would kill himself.

(1824 – 1895) French writer
Beliefs God Life People

In view of the fact that God limited the intelligence of man, it seems unfair that He did not also limit his stupidity.

(1876 – 1967) German statesman
Beliefs God Intelligence Stupidity

If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.

(1920 – ) Hungarian writer
Beliefs God

If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Beliefs Children God Religion