Subject: Beliefs (Page 13)

Men have as exaggerated an idea of their rights as women have of their wrongs.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Beliefs Men People Women

There are three kinds of lies; lies, damned lies and statistics.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Characteristics Communication Honesty Lies

The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Characteristics Government Honesty Politicians

Anyone who tells a lie has not a pure heart. and cannot make a good soup.

(1770 – 1827) German composer & pianist
Beliefs Honesty Lies

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Beliefs

Religion is basically guilt with different holidays.

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Beliefs Religion

Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Intelligence Religion

The pug is living proof that God has a sense of humor.

(1954 – 2000) humorist, writer & radio commentator
Animals Beliefs Dogs God

I'm going to marry a Jewish woman because I like the idea of getting up Sunday morning and going to the deli.

(1961 – ) Canadian–American actor, voice actor, author, producer & activist
Beliefs Marriage Religion Situations

Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

Beliefs Communication

White Lie: Aversion of the truth.

Beliefs Definitions Honesty Lies Truth

I dislike censorship; like an appendix it is useless when inert and dangerous when active.

(1911 – 1975) British politician
Beliefs Communication

I have an existential map; it has ‘you are here’ written all over it.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Beliefs Self

Georgie believed in democracy, and he felt that everybody had a right to an opinion… his.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Democracy Government Opinion

The tombstone is about the only thing that can stand upright and lie on its face at the same time.

(1880 – ?) American author
Beliefs Honesty Lies Things

It is a secret in the Oxford sense; you may tell it to only one person at a time.

(1905 – 1992) English civil servant & philosopher
Beliefs

They always throw around this term 'the liberal elite,' and I kept thinking to myself about the Christian right; what's more elite than believing that only you will go to heaven?

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Beliefs Government Politics Religion

Religion is just what we thought before we understood what mental illness was.

(1972 – ) Scottish comedian
Beliefs Religion

May God defend me from my friends; I can defend myself from my enemies.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Friends God Old People

A conservative doesn't want anything to happen for the first time; a liberal feels it should happen, but not now.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Beliefs Government

A man who will not lie to a woman has very little consideration for her feelings.

(1918 - 2002) American author
Beliefs Lies People Women