Subject: Beliefs (Page 15)

If you want to know what God thinks of money, you only have to look at those to whom he gives it.

(1874 – 1945) English writer, translator & war correspondent
Beliefs God Money

He’d steal flies from a blind spider.

Characteristics Expressions Honesty

Anything asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence.

Beliefs Facts Murphy’s Laws

When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and give it to him.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Beliefs Opinion

For every proverb that so confidently asserts its little bit of wisdom, there is usually an equal and opposite proverb that contradicts it.

Beliefs Murphy’s Laws Proverbs

Fine words! … I wonder where you stole them.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Characteristics Communication Honesty Insults

I never cease being dumbfounded by the unbelievable things people believe.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Beliefs People

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

(1964 – ) comedian, political satirist, writer & television host
Beliefs Characteristics Religion

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Activities Beliefs Games

A church steeple with a lightning rod on top shows a lack of confidence.

(1959 – ) Australian writer & television producer
Beliefs Things

I guess the biggest issue my husband and I are going to have is how do we raise the baby… because he’s Jewish and I’m Protestant and the baby’s father is Catholic.

Canadian-American comedian & writer
Beliefs Children Family Fathers Marriage Religion

You’ll always find some Eskimo ready to instruct the Congolese on how to cope with heat waves.

(1909 – 1966) Polish poet, writer & aphorist
Beliefs Opinion

Journalists say a thing that they know isn’t true, in the hope that if they keep on saying it long enough it will be true.

1867 – 1931) English novelist
Communication Honesty Language Lies Truth

In the beginning there was nothing and God said ‘Let there be light,’ and there was still nothing, but everybody could see it.

(1949 – ) Canadian comedian & actor
Beliefs God

My way of joking is to tell the truth.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Beliefs Honesty Truth

The person with the least expertise has the most opinions.

Beliefs Murphy’s Laws Opinion

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return; it's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.

(1917 – ) English physicist & science fiction author
Characteristics Honesty Money

Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

Beliefs Proverbs

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them… well, I have others.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Beliefs

If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right.

(1863 – 1947) automobile industrialist
Beliefs Situations

Religion is basically guilt with different holidays.

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Beliefs Religion