Subject: Beliefs (Page 18)

Practical politics consists in ignoring facts.

(1838 – 1918) journalist, historian, academic & novelist
Beliefs Facts Government Politics

Heaven goes by favor; for if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Animals Beliefs Characteristics Dogs

If you treat people right they will treat you right… ninety percent of the time.

(1882 – 1945) 32nd U.S. president
Characteristics Honesty People

God is good, but never dance in a small boat.

Dance God Proverbs Things

Any facts which, when included in the argument, give the desired result, are fair facts for the argument.

Beliefs Facts Murphy’s Laws

Always behave as if nothing had happened, no matter what has happened.

1867 – 1931) English novelist
Beliefs Situations

You’ll always find some Eskimo ready to instruct the Congolese on how to cope with heat waves.

(1909 – 1966) Polish poet, writer & aphorist
Beliefs Opinion

My dad was old school Jewish… not do your taxes Jewish – steal your car Jewish.

American comedian & actor
Beliefs Religion

I’ll not listen to reason… reason always means what someone else has got to say.

(1810 – 1865) English writer
Beliefs Opinion

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Animals Beliefs Dogs

War is God's way of teaching us geography.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Conflict God War

A short summary of every Jewish holiday: “They tried to kill us; we won; let’s eat!”

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Beliefs Religion

The truth is rarely pure and never simple.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics Honesty Truth

Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Beliefs Sex

I have learned from my mistakes, and I am sure I can repeat them exactly.

(1937 – 1995) English satirist, writer & comedian
Beliefs

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return; it's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.

(1917 – ) English physicist & science fiction author
Characteristics Honesty Money

The trouble with giving advice is that people want to repay you.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Beliefs

Once again, we come to the holiday season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Activities Beliefs Religion Shopping

Nothing is so fallacious as facts, except figures.

Beliefs Facts

An independent is a guy who wants to take the politics out of politics.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Beliefs Government Opinion Politics

Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Honesty Truth