Subject: Beliefs (Page 19)

Half the lies they tell about me aren’t true.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Lies Yogi-isms

Yawn: An honest opinion openly expressed.

Definitions Opinion

He that wishes to learn to pray, let him go to sea.

(1593 – 1633) Welsh-born poet, orator & Anglican priest
Beliefs Religion

If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Beliefs Children God Religion

I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Beliefs Education Religion

A critic is someone who never actually goes to the battle, yet who afterwards comes out shooting the wounded.

(1946 – ) American stage & screen actress
Beliefs Communication Occupations Work

Please don't lie to me, unless you're absolutely sure I'll never find out the truth.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Characteristics Honesty Lies Truth

Christian: One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbors. 

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions Religion

The more ridiculous a belief system, the higher the probability of its success.

Beliefs Murphy’s Laws Success

Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn't know how to lie, cheat, and steal; he's always had an agent do that.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Characteristics Honesty People Politics

Sex is God's joke on human beings.

(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater
Beliefs God People Sex

A conservative is a fellow who thinks a rich man should have a square deal.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor
Beliefs

Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high-powered rifle and scope.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Beliefs Communication Opinion

A conservative doesn't want anything to happen for the first time; a liberal feels it should happen, but not now.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Beliefs Government

Practical politics consists in ignoring facts.

(1838 – 1918) journalist, historian, academic & novelist
Beliefs Facts Government Politics

Secret: What we tell everybody to tell nobody.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions

Trust everybody – but cut the cards.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Characteristics Honesty

It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Beliefs People Religion Sex Women

Gray hair is God's graffiti.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Appearance Communication God Reading/Writing

A good review is considered nepotism; a bad one professional jealousy.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Opinion

What do you call an honest Iranian businessman? … Asif.

(1965 – ) British-Iranian comedian, actor & writer
Beliefs Honesty People Places