Subject: Beliefs (Page 2)

As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck we give the gods credit for.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
God Intelligence Wisdom

You’ll always find some Eskimo ready to instruct the Congolese on how to cope with heat waves.

(1909 – 1966) Polish poet, writer & aphorist
Beliefs Opinion

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Appearance Beliefs Characteristics

People will believe anything if you whisper it.

Beliefs Communication Murphy’s Laws

Second to agriculture, humbug is the biggest industry of our age.

(1833 – 1896) Swedish chemist, engineer, innovator & armaments manufacturer
Beliefs Facts

Religion is basically guilt with different holidays.

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Beliefs Religion

In the beginning there was nothing and God said ‘Let there be light,’ and there was still nothing, but everybody could see it.

(1949 – ) Canadian comedian & actor
Beliefs God

The more ridiculous a belief system, the higher the probability of its success.

Beliefs Murphy’s Laws Success

Here's some advice for you guys: never hire a clown named Molesto.

stand-up comedian
Beliefs

To create man was a fine and original idea; but to add the sheep was a tautology.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs People

Figures won’t lie, but liars can figure.

(1911 – 1993) columnist & novelist
Characteristics Facts Honesty Lies People

He is a man of his most recent word.

(1925 – 2008) American conservative author, commentator & television host
Beliefs Communication Opinion

The success of any venture will be helped by prayer, even in the wrong denomination.

Beliefs Murphy’s Laws Success

Catholicism is the most adhesive religion in the world; if you joined the Taliban, you’d merely be regarded as a bad Catholic.

(1972 – ) Irish comedian & television presenter
Beliefs Religion

Men have as exaggerated an idea of their rights as women have of their wrongs.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Beliefs Men People Women

Many people would be more truthful were it not for their uncontrollable desire to talk.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Characteristics Communication Honesty Speech Truth

God is usually on the side of the big squadrons against the small.

(1618 – 1693) French memoirist
Conflict God War

I think that people who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Communication Lies Reading/Writing

More people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Beliefs Intelligence Religion

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake.

(1864 –1945) Anglo-Scottish socialite, author & wit
Characteristics Honesty Insults Lies People

The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind – a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs God Places