Subject: Beliefs (Page 24)

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics Honesty

Idealism increases in direct proportion to one's distance from the problem.

(1867 – 1933) English writer
Beliefs Opinion

I want everyone to tell me the truth, even if it costs him his job.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Characteristics Honesty Truth Work

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Emotions Entertainment God Laughter

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing… if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Characteristics Honesty Life Truth

Reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Beliefs Religion

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Beliefs

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics Opinion People

Isn’t it strange that the same people who laugh at gypsy fortune-tellers take economists seriously.

Beliefs

There are more acres of forestland in America today than when Columbus discovered the continent in 1492.

(1951 – ) American conservative radio talk-show host
Lies Places Stupidity

Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Opinion

I was working on a flat tax proposal and accidentally proved there was no God.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Beliefs God TV/Movie Quotes

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

(1964 – ) comedian, political satirist, writer & television host
Beliefs Characteristics Religion

Tolerance: That uncomfortable feeling that the other fellow might be right after all.

Beliefs Characteristics Definitions

Y’know, if those pews reclined and the priests gave the Raiders scores, I’d go to church every Sunday.

(1961 – ) American comedian, actor & talk show host
Beliefs

Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any.

Beliefs Sex

Every scientific truth goes through three states: first, people say it conflicts with the Bible; next, they say it has been discovered before; lastly, they say they always believed it.

(1807 – 1873) paleontologist, glaciologist & geologist
Beliefs Facts Science/Weather

The more ridiculous a belief system, the higher the probability of its success.

Beliefs Murphy’s Laws Success

If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Beliefs Characteristics God

It is a secret in the Oxford sense; you may tell it to only one person at a time.

(1905 – 1992) English civil servant & philosopher
Beliefs

Properly read, the Bible is the most potent force for atheism ever conceived.

(1920 – 1992) American science and science fiction author & professor
Beliefs Religion