Subject: Beliefs (Page 24)

A liberal is a conservative who has been arrested.

(1931 – ) American author & journalist
Beliefs Conflict Law People

If Columbus had had an advisory committee he would probably still be at the dock.

(1908 – 1990) American statesman, jurist & attorney
Beliefs Opinion People

In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator
Characteristics Honesty Lies

The one prediction that never comes true is, “You’ll thank me for telling you this.”

(1938 – ) journalist, columnist (Miss Manners)
Beliefs Opinion

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Communication Religion Speech

I dislike censorship; like an appendix it is useless when inert and dangerous when active.

(1911 – 1975) British politician
Beliefs Communication

Golf is a game in which the ball lies poorly and the players well.

(1912 – 2003) American sports writer
Characteristics Golf Honesty Lies Sports

If God were suddenly condemned to live the life which he has inflicted on men, he would kill himself.

(1824 – 1895) French writer
Beliefs God Life People

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Beliefs Characteristics Emotions

Truth hurts… maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing… but it hurts.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
Truth TV/Movie Quotes

Sex is God's joke on human beings.

(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater
Beliefs God People Sex

Among the many remedies that won’t cure a cold, the most common is advice.

Beliefs Health

Christian: A man who feels repentance on a Sunday for what he did on Saturday and is going to do on Monday.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions Religion

Sometimes you have to take things on faith, even if you don't have any faith.

Beliefs

God was left out of the Constitution but was furnished a front seat on the coins of the country.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs God

Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned.

(1932 – 2017) comedian, social activist, critic & writer
Anger Beliefs Characteristics

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs God

We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road; they get run over.

(1897 – 1960) Welsh labor leader & politician
Accidents Beliefs Opinion Problems

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Beliefs

The difference between a Northern Baptist and a Southern Baptist was that a Northern Baptist says, "There ain't no Hell," and a Southern Baptist says, "The hell 'ere ain't."

(1926 – 1983) American comedian & singer
Beliefs Religion

Howard Hughes was able to afford the luxury of madness, like a man who not only thinks he is Napoleon but hires an army to prove it.

(1932 – ) French-American writer, biographer, journalist & historian
Beliefs Insults Opinion