Subject: Beliefs (Page 25)

Isn't it great to live in a society where the penalty for lying to a congressman can be up to 30 years in jail, but the penalty for a congressman lying to you is another two years in office.

(1955 – ) American sportswriter
Beliefs Congress Golf Government Honesty Law Lies

Among the many remedies that won’t cure a cold, the most common is advice.

Beliefs Health

Since my daughter is only half-Jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees?

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Beliefs

Honesty is a good thing, but it is not profitable to its possessor unless it is kept under control.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Characteristics Honesty

Nothing is so good that somebody, somewhere, will not hate it.

Beliefs Murphy’s Laws Opinion

He will even tell a lie when it is not convenient to.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Beliefs Honesty Lies

A bunch of money-grubbin', greenhouse-gassing, seal-clubbing, oil-drilling, Bible-thumping, missile-firing, right-to-life-ing, lethal-injecting hypocrites, whose idea of a good time is strapping a dead panda to a Lincoln Navigator and running over everybody in the gay parade.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs Government People Politics

Liberal: A man with his mind open at both ends.

Beliefs Definitions People

If God, as some now say, is dead, He no doubt died of trying to find an equitable solution to the Arab-Jewish problem.

(1907 – 1989) American writer
Beliefs God Government

Satan: The scarecrow in the religious cornfield.

Beliefs Definitions Religion

It is always the best policy to speak the truth…` unless, of course you are an exceptionally good liar.

(1859 – 1927) English writer
Beliefs Honesty Truth

I’m a strict Catholic; this year I gave up abstinence for Lent.

English writer & comedian
Beliefs Religion Sex

Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Reagan couldn't tell the difference.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Characteristics Honesty Insults Lies

Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Beliefs Government Intelligence Politics Stupidity

About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Communication Honesty Reading/Writing

When God created Republicans, he gave up on everything else.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Beliefs Government

It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.

Beliefs People Religion Sex

Anything asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence.

Beliefs Facts Murphy’s Laws

I guess the biggest issue my husband and I are going to have is how do we raise the baby… because he’s Jewish and I’m Protestant and the baby’s father is Catholic.

Canadian-American comedian & writer
Beliefs Children Family Fathers Marriage Religion

God don't make no mistakes… that's how He got to be God.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Beliefs God Mistakes

Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

Beliefs Proverbs