Subject: Beliefs (Page 30)

Flattery is the sincerest form of lying.

Honesty Lies Murphy’s Laws

Faith: Not wanting to know what is true.

(1844 – 1900) German philosopher
Beliefs Definitions

The only way a reporter should look at a politician is down.

Government Murphy’s Laws Opinion Politicians

A liberal is one who has both feet planted firmly in the air.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Beliefs Government

Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it’s done, they’ve seen it done every day, but they’re unable to do it themselves.

(1923 – 1964) Irish poet, short story writer, novelist & playwright
Beliefs Entertainment Opinion

Any theory can be made to fit any facts by means of appropriate additional assumptions.

Facts Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

We must believe in free will… we have no choice.

(1902 – 1991) Polish Jewish American author
Beliefs Life

The difference between a saint and a hypocrite is that one lies for his religion, the other by it.

(1861 – 1950) American writer
Beliefs Religion

A man who calls bullshit fertilizer.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor
Communication Individuals Language Lies

If God wanted me to bend over, he’d have put diamonds on the floor.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Activities God

I wouldn’t speak to her if I met her in hell and she was carrying ice.

Expressions Insults Opinion

A dead atheist is someone who's all dressed up with no place to go.

James Duffecy (1912 – 1983) Australian evangelist
Beliefs Religion

It is a secret in the Oxford sense; you may tell it to only one person at a time.

(1905 – 1992) English civil servant & philosopher
Beliefs

Age is a function of mind over matter; if you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

(1906 – 1982) baseball player
Age Beliefs Old

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Age Beliefs Honesty Lies

The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.

Characteristics God Life

A bare assertion is not necessarily the naked truth.

(1802 – 1870) American writer & editor
Characteristics Honesty Truth

If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs God

He would not blow his nose without moralizing on conditions in the handkerchief industry.

(1903 – 1974) English intellectual, literary critic & writer
Insults Opinion

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Facts Language Science/Weather

Don't get me wrong, I believe in God; I just don't trust anybody who works for him.

television executive & comedian
Beliefs God