Subject: Beliefs (Page 31)

The public is always wrong.

Beliefs Murphy’s Laws People

Anyone who tells a lie has not a pure heart. and cannot make a good soup.

(1770 – 1827) German composer & pianist
Beliefs Honesty Lies

You know, just once I’d like to hear a player say, ‘Yeah, we were in the game – until Jesus made me fumble; he hates our team.’

(1959 – ) American stand-up comedian
Beliefs Sports

The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology; until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Beliefs Religion

Why should I talk to you?… I've just been talking to your boss.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Beliefs Communication Death God

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.

Beliefs Definitions Honesty Lies

When I was a little boy, they called me a liar, but now that I am grown up, they call me a writer.

(1902 – 1991) Polish Jewish American author
Communication Lies Occupations Reading/Writing Work

I was working on a flat tax proposal and accidentally proved there was no God.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Beliefs God TV/Movie Quotes

I do not mind lying, but I hate inaccuracy.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Characteristics Honesty Lies

No matter how often the lie is shown to be false, there will still remain a percentage of people who believe it true.

Beliefs Honesty Lies Murphy’s Laws

There are no atheists in foxholes.

(1828-1882) English poet, illustrator, painter & translator
Beliefs God

If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Beliefs Characteristics God

The trouble with facts is that there are so many of them.

(1857 – 1927) Unitarian Universalist minister
Facts Science/Weather

My parents are Catholic, which means that they love Jesus and liquor and I don't think there's anything more Mexican than that.

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian
People Religion

Idealism increases in direct proportion to one's distance from the problem.

(1867 – 1933) English writer
Beliefs Opinion

Everything you read in the newspapers is absolutely true except for that rare story of which you happen to have firsthand knowledge.

Characteristics Communication Honesty Murphy’s Laws Truth

Preachers denounce sin as if it was available to everyone.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor
Beliefs Religion

A liberal is man who will give away everything he doesn’t own.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor
Beliefs

I’m an Atheist… thank God.

(1936 – 2005) Irish comedian
Beliefs God Religion Wordplay

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

(1870 – 1916) British writer
Beliefs Facts

Man was predestined to have free will.

Beliefs Wordplay