Subject: Beliefs (Page 32)

Let's face it, show business is run by 2,000 Jews and Oprah, and she lives next door to Spielberg, which makes her Jewish by association.

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor, director & author
Beliefs Entertainment People Religion

Beware of the half truth… you may have gotten hold of the wrong half.

Beliefs Honesty Truth

Truthful: Dumb and illiterate.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions Honesty

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.

Characteristics Honesty Lies Science/Weather

Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance or a stranger.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Beliefs Opinion

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you; tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch it to be sure.

Beliefs Murphy’s Laws

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Food/Drink Opinion

Gods like to see an atheist around… gives them something to aim at.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Beliefs God

Science: An orderly arrangement of what, at the moment, seems to be the facts.

Beliefs Definitions Facts Science/Weather

If you maintain a consistent political position long enough, you'll eventually be accused of treason.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Beliefs Government Politics

Among the many remedies that won’t cure a cold, the most common is advice.

Beliefs Health

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Appearance Beliefs Characteristics

I don’t consider myself a pessimist; I think of a pessimist as someone who is waiting for it to rain… and I feel soaked to the skin.

(1934 – ) Canadian singer-songwriter, musician, poet & novelist
Beliefs People Self

Good taste is the worst vice ever invented.

(1887 – 1964) English biographer, critic, novelist & poet
Characteristics Old Opinion

What can you say about a society that says that God is dead and Elvis is alive?

(1912 – 2003) newspaper columnist
Beliefs God

Liberty: Consists in giving everyone full right to mind everyone else’s business.

Beliefs Characteristics Definitions

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Intelligence Law Opinion

Self-evident: Evident to one's self and to nobody else.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions

… the less a man knows, the more sure it is that he knows everything.

(1888 – 1957) English writer
Beliefs Intelligence People

The more ridiculous a belief system, the higher the probability of its success.

Beliefs Murphy’s Laws Success

God will pardon me… it is His trade.

(1797 – 1856) German critic & poet
Beliefs God