Subject: Beliefs (Page 34)

Facts are stubborn things.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Beliefs Facts

Righteous indignation: Your own wrath as opposed to the shocking bad temper of others.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Beliefs Religion

Euphemism is a euphemism for lying.

(Roberta Lee Streeter) (1944 – ) American singer-songwriter
Characteristics Honesty Lies

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Alcohol Beer Emotions Food/Drink God Happiness

I wish God were alive to see this.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
God TV/Movie Quotes

The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Characteristics Government Honesty Politicians

More people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Beliefs Intelligence Religion

A man's got to believe in something… and I believe I'll have another drink.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Beliefs Food/Drink Individuals

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Beliefs God Religion

Science is Truth. Don't be misled by fact.

Beliefs Facts Honesty Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Truth

What can you say about a society that says that God is dead and Elvis is alive?

(1912 – 2003) newspaper columnist
Beliefs God

Every word she writes is a lie, including "and" and "the."

(1912 – 1989) author, critic & political activist
Characteristics Honesty Insults Lies

Golf is a game in which the ball lies poorly and the players well.

(1912 – 2003) American sports writer
Characteristics Golf Honesty Lies Sports

If beauty is truth, why don’t women go to the library to have their hair done?

(1805 – 1864) English editor, novelist & sporting writer
Appearance People Truth Women

1. Anyone can make a decision given enough facts. 2. A good manager can make a decision without enough facts. 3. A perfect manager can operate in perfect ignorance.

Facts Murphy’s Laws

When deciding between two competing theories, always go with the one that doesn't involve a magic spell.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Beliefs Religion

I was thrown out of NYU my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs Education School

I definitely want Brooklyn [his daughter] to be Christened, but I don't know into what religion yet.

professional football player
Beliefs Misspokements Religion

Public opinion is the worst of all opinions.

(1741 – 1794) French writer
Beliefs Opinion

I can always tell when a girl comes from a good family because she’s what’s known as “not at all attracted to me.”

American comedian & actor
Beliefs

It ain’t German to the conversation. It ain’t supposed to make sense; it’s faith. Faith is something that you believe that nobody in his right mind would believe.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Beliefs Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes